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| Welcome, motherfuckers, to the Eighth Annual Crazy Bitch Convention! I'm your host, you fucking assholes, Shannon Fucking Doherty! Introduce yourselves and fuck off! | |
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| Ah'm Whitney Houston. Bobby! Git yo' ass ovah here wit' dat weed! Oh, uh...I ain't got no weed. | |
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| I'm Courtney Love. Totally. You like my new cheekbones? My new lips? My new earlobe implants? Like, I'm totally responsible and stuff. | |
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| I'm Rosie O'Donnell. Besides eating Cambodian children, I shop at K-Mart. But I don't buy their guns, because them and anyone who sells them are evil. | |
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| Is all this really happening or am I just going crazy and hallucinating it all? Well, if it's the latter, I've come to the right place! | |
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| Hi! I'm Lara Flynn Boyle! Does anyone have any food I can avoid? | |
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