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| This Just In: John Kerry calls Bush to concede election! | |
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| More on that when information arrives. | |
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| This Just In: Kerry makes concession speech, declaring Bush the final presidential winner. | |
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| We're calling this election for Bush. | |
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| This Just In: Secure in his position as President for another 4 years, Bush has just shed his human guise and is now flying around Washington shitting fire in his demon form. | |
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