Witnesses for the Defense

Author: Misfit

Date: May 18, 2003

by Misfit
5-18-03
Whorealdo Exclusives
I am speaking with Dr. Scheisskupf, famous proctologist, who has been employed by the Peterson defense to examine the remains. Dr. Scheisskupf, what are your findings?
Vell, Herr Aldo, I seenk zee body shose Zigns of Zevere Mootilation und zee murterer karft un Swastika und farious un zundry zimbols of ze occult. Vich makes me beleef zis is za vork of ze devil.
In an exclusive interview with a known Modesto cult member, sir, what can you tell me about the ritual sacrifices your group perpetrates on the unsuspecting citizens of California?
We hate cats.
Breaking news on Fox: Laci Peterson was abducted, drowned and partially devoured by none other than the Loch Ness monster! I am awaiting an exclusive interview...Nessy? Where are you, Nessy?