All comics by Mojaco

Profile

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
My dick hurts
Ok, I got off at a wrong start. "Got off", Get it?
oh man...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Knock knock...
Fuck

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
You know, I never believed in God.
But now you do?
Yeah, my dick grew 2" yesterday
You're a robot dude. You've only got an exhaust pipe.
Does he have to blow everything?
I'd like to blow his pipe though

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
I'm a clone
A clone is never alone
I thought that dude would never leave

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Sir, you're hanging in a "No hang" area. I'd like to see your indentification please.
Sure, it's right here in my rope. If you could just go and reach for it yourself, my hands are kinda tied...
I wonder if the son of God would pull that trick on me too...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
KNOCK KNOCK!!!
Who's There?
Huge knockers!

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Knock knock...
Who's there?
What the fuck? A talking mike!
Talking mike? I don't get it...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Knock knock...
Who's there?
It's me! Muahahaha
Lame

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Hey man
Hey...
Why did you walk up to the screen to say "hey"?
It's a hetero thing, you wouldn't understand

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
I'LL KILL YOU LIKE THE DOG YOU FUCKING ARE
Dude, keep it down, you totally popped me ears.
Ow, sorry man, didn't mean to harm you

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
For 5 years we've searched, and still no fuckin' treasure. This hunt is OVER
Hmm...
Maybe we did find the true treasure. We've become friends like few people I know. A treasure worth more then anything else
Maybe that was one of those thoughts you keep to yourself...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Hey, check me out
"I turn to Jesus"
I knew this planet was a bad idea the second He said "I'm going to try it in a week"

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Can I have some of your water man? I'm... so... hot!
Piss off. Should have brought more when we left
Ok, one sip then

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Yo, wassup?
I... AM... DEATH...
I... HAVE... COME... FOR... YOU....
Could you move it along? I've got places to go and peopel to meet
NO... YOU... DON'T... GET.... IT... I... AM... ....

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
ZOO, Aquarium
Yo loser. How's that cage working out for you, huh? Look at me, I'm standing in freedom, and it feels goohood
No feeding the animals dude, INCLUDING canned food

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Uh-oh... The writer doesn't know a joke, yet he has two actors lined up
And the background is familiar. He wouldn't resort to... THOSE jokes again, would he?
Knock knock...
fuck...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
I... AM... DEATH...
I... HAVE... COME... FOR... YOU...
What is he looking at my crotch for?
No balls. I can take this pancy

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Hi there, bunny. You're cute.
Heu.. thanks I guess...
Is that a weird mutation or are you glad to see me?
IT'S A MUTATION!

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Daddy? Art thou there, daddy?
I'm here, son
What? You're a fuckin' dog
Yeah, it's god spelled backwards
Maybe satan has an opening left in his staff...
I felt witty today. See the ball? It's llab spelled backwards...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Well, I'm off. Good luck with the farm
While you are being enslaved by the farmer I'm enjoying careless sex with all the chicks in the neightbourhood
I wonder if he knows that he's going in the direction of the Kentucky's Fried Chicken factory

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Ha! This should teach you, biatch!
If I have to die a marter, so it'll be
A marter? What the fuck?
I have tried to bring peace and help to the jewish and all mankind. If I have to die for that, so it'll be
Fuck that, you screwed my wife!
Oh, that...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
You're not going to the hookers again, John. You're going to spent some time with Jimmy. It's your kid too you know!
Yeah yeah, allright
This is going to be imbarresing
Would I get a discount for the two of us?
Sure, why not?

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
I invision life to be some sort of computer game from heaven. A game you play to enhance yourself, to add to your personality
You log in as whatever you want, be it a human or an ape, explaining why humans get more and more and animals less and less
Then you lead a life unaware of the game. You experience love and happyness as if for the first time, or sadness and sorrow
Once you die, you'll be back in heaven, aware of the game. The life your lived has forever become a part of your heaven self
This might not go and sell as well as the Bible though

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
You know, I heard a woman died recently, and got back up. She said there was a heaven, and she never wanted to go back to earth... but she had to!
Cool. Why are you telling me?
Well...
That guy's doing dope...
I... AM... DEATH...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Hello user. This is the first time you use Word. Are you comfortable?
If not, press HERE to learn how to masturbate
Can I turn this off?
Press a mouse button, any keyboard key or do nothing to erase all files...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Hey, did you ever try and calculate howmany people are gay? 5 billion divided by 20 or so, makes 250 million!
So?
The possibilities are endless!
Possibilities?
... Threats! I meant threats

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
HAHA! I AM HERE TO INTRUDE THIS JOKE!
Intrude? You want a piece of my ass?
Why do these new kids always make gay jokes?
Gay jokes? Where?

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Yo man, yousa people gonna die if you don't gonna pay me the cash
CUT!
It's "You people". Remember Ahmed, you're not Jar Jar in this play
Mesa nigga gonna get fired?
NEXT!

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Why, damnit, why? Does noone understand me?
If I don't belong here, God, GIVE ME A FUCKIN' SIGN!
He works fast these days...
Hey, you don't belong here!

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
Howcome you didn't scream in agony when you saw me?
I dunno. I guess television prepared me. I saw grey men like you a dozen times
Really? And how are we portrayed?
As little weaklings ussually, constantly being covered up by our government. And everyone's a fan! We love aliens!
Maybe now's not the time to tell him we kidnapped his daughter
You look a lot like E.T. You know, the little alien that played with those children and stuff...

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
I think we are done here. You'll go back to earth now
ok...
Guess it's good to be back...
You bastard! You took my wallet!

 

by Mojaco
1-09-02
No money.. no daughter... My life sucks!
Dada?
Susan? My daughter, there you are! Oh, the happyness, the glory, the...
Dada?
You bastards! You've had here for 2 weeks, couldn't you change her diaper once!?
Dada, me do poo poo now

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
The beauty of wild sealife
A red "gonzola" fish, and a real life shark, right there! The purety of it all
And see, even a terrible surprise joke climax!
brlb.. why terrible?

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
CHILD! LOOK AROUND AND ACCEPT THE FATE THAT IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT. SATAN RULES YOUR GLOBE NOW
CHAOS WILL SPREAD AND.... gosh, you look so cute with those big eyes. How would you like some candy?
I did it again didn't I?
You did

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
The boss told us not to press the red button
Yes, it would destroy earth
What if I don't like earth?
I'm all for it

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Earth is destroyed! My god! This is it, how can things get any worse?
So that's how...

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Why did your fart from the last joke didn't have any sound?
Because Mojaco keeps forgetting there's no edit, and he should check his comics better. But don't worry
BOOP!!
Why do I even ask...
No thanks

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Hello child, I am...
... Jesus. I know you, you're from that fake-ass religion. The bible is just made up by a creative group of men a couple of millenia ago if you ask me. I know a guy that...
Hey, you're supposed to respect me! Don't you know the ten...
...commandments? Yeah, god's way of censurship. Letting go of those commandments improves life tenfold at the very least. Let me tell you, I...
Goddamnit bitch, will you just listen?
Ah, there you go

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Hello television. I am a superieur device then you
I can download porn 24/7, without censorship. I can play games far beyond you imagionation. I can help you with office work. I can... *beep*
Frooze up, did you now?

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Hey, a demon. What are you doing here?
I'm here to terrorise all life on Earth
Is that so, pussy? Can't harm me, I'm not a living being. You can stab me, you can shoot me, but the snowman will come straight back. So whatcha gonna do, wuss?
I'm toast

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Yo, Tyler! So how are things man? You know, I thought the 'dick' joke in Fight Club was kinda lame
I thought it was funny
Oh well, I didn't mind. The rest of the movie was more grown up humor. One 'flaw' isn't too bad I suppose
Pull my finger

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Hey, is it cold up there?
God damn you! I have powerfull friends you know!
The same friends that just let you hang up there?
I'm the son of God! How dare you!
That geezer never fails to crack me up
I... AM... DEATH...

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
I am Clappy, the Word assistant with an urgue for world domination! First I will virus bomb half the planet with "I love You" email. Then I will lure all the nerds to join my army...
...in exchange for a Matrix jacket. The non-nerds are too stupid to know the difference between a watercrane and a electricity exit, so my army will be all but unstopable. I will be...
Ok honey, I pulled the plug. Is the water still cold?
NOOOOooooo........ *beep*

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
I just saw Lord of the Rings. It had all this epic hights, but in the end it didn't lead anywhere.
So kinda like sex for a woman? Huh huh
Huh huh, har har
har har...
I wouldn't know really
Me neither

 

by Mojaco
1-10-02
Some bar
I told we should go make some soap. But noooo, you wanted to go and "check out the action"
Damnit Tyler, it really said "girl's night"!

 

by Mojaco
1-24-02
DING DONG
YES... WHAT... DO... YOU... WANT?
Mr. Reaper? I've come for you. You see these...
YOU... CAME... FOR... ME? THAT'S... MY... LINE... BUGGER... OFF...
But I sell these fine leather jackets!

 

by Mojaco
1-24-02
'morning
'morning
Even after the apocalypse a man can't take a private dump in the open

 

by Mojaco
1-24-02
Hello user! To shut me down, click HERE
You opted to shut me down. If you want me to return in 5 minutes, click HERE. If you want me to pop up every once in a while to check up on you, click HERE
Will you just go?
I think I need a hug

 

by Mojaco
1-24-02
I just saw Vanilla Sky! It got me thinking. What if I was the one living a dream inside a cryotank! That all you do and say is because I think it up, subconsiosly!
Hmm....
I don't think you're important enough do let them do it for free, and like hell you're rich enough to pay for it yourself
GO AWAY, I COMMAND YOU!

 

by Mojaco
1-24-02
I know the coolest nickname! In Vanilla sky, Tom Cruise was called Citizen Dildo! How weird is that!?
Hm... I know a song called SlutButtFucker. That's pretty fucked up right there
How come you always seem to win these kind of games?
I wonder...

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