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| Coach, why am I suspended? | |
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| Sorry, D.J. but you failed your drug test. | |
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| It wasn't mine! I swear. I was at this party, see? And they was smoking hypodermic needles in the same room, but I didn't inhale! | |
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| It's not that. It was positive for hCG. You're pregnant. | |
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| Oh shit. For reals? You know I'm gonna need some child support, right? | |
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| This isn't fair! Why should I have to pay the rest of my life for a one-night mistake? | |
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