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It all started in 2nd grade
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| If I'm voted king of recess, I will fight to stop the spread of cooties | |
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| Wow, I would love that. Tommy kissed me on the monkey bars yesterday | |
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His college years continued to impress
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| If I'm voted president of our fraternity, I will offer free STD testing to all of the women who sleep over | |
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| Great! Then I can confirm you'll have nothing to worry about....well, next time that is | |
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Even at 87, he's still got it
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| If I'm voted head of the retirement home council, I will demand easy access to more granny panty diapers for the ladies | |
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| Oh, you really know how to treat a girl. Especially me since I just soiled myself | |
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