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| He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake | |
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| So Santa saw me sleeping, then watched me shower just now? What a perv! Someone ought to kick his ass | |
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| I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night | |
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| He did WHAT? The next time he comes down our chimney, I am going to kick his jolly fat ass! | |
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| Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas Eve | |
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| Sounds like a classic hit and run. Don't worry, we will track Santa down and throw him in the slammer where criminals can beat his ass for what he did | |
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