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| "I left my soul at the door!" | |
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| "I make my money betting against the Raiders!" | |
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| "I can't wait to find a girlfriend so I can cheat on her!" | |
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| "Real people aren't as good-looking as me!" | |
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| "Elections give you the chance to make a bigger mistake every four years!" | |
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| Dammit, I shouldn't have licensed my image to make these Talking Cynical Gabe Dolls... | |
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