All comics by Neoclassic

 

by Neoclassic
10-03-10
So uh, I say to the kid, "You're out of your league. I'm a frickin' Dragon here. I can't go on dates."
Don't worry. She'll understand. Hopefully... Let's just hope she's not crying. Wait. She didn't even like you. She dated you for the money. Anyways, she won't be crying at all. Trust me.
So what happened?
It's my boyfriend. He broke my heart. I really... I just... WAH! WA-WA-WAH!

 

by Neoclassic
10-03-10
I AM A SHARK--FEAR ME
How do I tell a guy he's not scary?
FEAR ME NOW.... "OR YOU WILL DIE."
Whoa... aw... wow AHH I'm scared oh no!
Whatever.
Wha-a-t?! I didn't know how to break it to him!

 

by Neoclassic
10-03-10
Diablo Duck meets Joe
So you were, uh...
...Hanging out with a friend. Have you seen him?
and I don't think that they will
I don't think I have.
Really?
like each other...
I should pack my things.
You should.

 

Go Suit-Man! Go Suit-man!
Ultimately, I think I should kill you.
Go ahead, demon man.
by Neoclassic, 10-04-10

 

The irony is SOOOOOO irritating, isn't it? It annoys the living HECK out of me.
In here, we keep the irony.
It's ironic enough that this is 4 corners 5, isn't it?
by Neoclassic, 10-04-10

 

by Neoclassic
10-04-10
The Adventures of OFFICE MAN! --- So, it was a calm day. You never know what can happen with Office Man. Anyways, in this comic, Kistfield the Mightily Evil goes to face Ted and Melvin...
I am KISTFIELD the MIGHTY.
Right.
... Melvin the servant comes to help. But really, can he help? We won't know. --- So it's 9:00. Really, this is DEATH. D-E-A-T-H. (For Kistfield.)
No really, I am!
I know! ... Send in Melvin.
Hey Melvin.
Hello Kistfield...

 

by Neoclassic
10-04-10
The American: Breaking News
Is it true? Is it really true?
People only hold in pees because they feel that it is the appropriate thing to do. Look I bet the person right now is going "Is it true? Is it really true?"
RRGH
Brain farts: smelly or non-smelly? The heated debate up next on National Geographic--American edition.
This show is like, so frickin' awesome... I like... Don't want to go to work... Like.. Yeah.
Last Night on Kim's Brother: Kim finished the Halo game and her boyfriend broke up with her out of jealousy! Now she's going around flipping people off for no reason!

 

by Neoclassic
10-04-10
I would like all of you fellow Americans to know that you are important to me. As president, I will increase the amount of traffic cops.
Mr. Chen--I'm from Indiana. (No, it's not the mic.) So really. I have to ask, are you democrat, republican, or third party canidate?
(Number of votes drop 800)
Well, uh... Really, I don't know. Consider me a third party canidate.
So, you aren't republican? You--
(commercial ends)
--I'm Chen Shootbag and I approve this message.
I HA---

 

Mr. Tom Y. Oullneverno. Really Oullneverknow, but they call him Neverno because it's shorter.
Who the frick are you?
Tom Y. Oullneverno.
by Neoclassic, 10-04-10

 

by Neoclassic
10-04-10
No, if I go to the club and get drunk, REALLY drunk, I'll get that stinking hangover...
Watcha thinking about?
Uh, uh... um... er... uh...
Goin' to the bar tonight?
Yeah... wanna come?
No, if I go to the club and get drunk, REALLY drunk, I'll get that stinking hangover...

 

Ignore the idiot bacon monster... Ignore him...
by Neoclassic, 10-04-10

 

by Neoclassic
10-05-10
I've been telling you, this isn't how you want to live.
You never told me that.
I thought I did... whatever. You know what I mean. You don't want to live in a trash can. This is a dumb life for you! Don't live this way! Just don't!
. . .
What're you thinking?
I'm thinking of kicking you in the crotch. I MAKE MY OWN FRICKIN DECISIONS!

 

by Neoclassic
10-05-10
The Office (1)
Sir, we've been running low on business. Nobody likes organic Skin Flavored Chips anymore, I guess.
Save it, loser.
What?
We all know your secret. That you go to the club all night. You're drunk every minute. So, I'm telling you--you should be fired. Be glad that I spare you. Keep the business alive.
You don't know ALL of my secrets.
You don't even know mine.

 

by Neoclassic
10-05-10
The Office (2)
I know ONE of your secrets.
Oh really?
Yes. You're changing your name to Filmore.
So you learned. Now, I'm going to kill you.
This was not worth it.
Shut up you dumb hippo of a man.

 

by Neoclassic
10-05-10
The Office (3)
Filmore. I hate jail.
So do I! But we're not going to get out of here.
They're stuck in jail.
Hold on, I smuggled my phone in.
Who you gonna call?
You'll see.
I don't like the sound of that.

 

by Neoclassic
10-05-10
The Office (4)
Who'd you call?
You'll see. He texted me. He said he's coming.
OK. Good.
CRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAASHHHHHH
He's here.
What's the problem?

 

by Neoclassic
10-09-10
HI. I AM INVISIBLE FRIEND.
Oh, yeah. I've heard of you.
YOU HAVE?
Aren't you that deranged robot?
WHAT?
Oh, yeah, I've DEFINITELY heard of you.

 

by Neoclassic
10-09-10
You have a rare condition: Zombimanitis.
Zombie: "Oh well that's why I came here... to get a prescription."
Ok, we'll find one.
What again?
Some guy says he needs us to find a cure.

 

by Neoclassic
10-09-10
Did you find the cure?
(gruff voice:) No.
Find it.
Why?
Grrrrr.
I need my MOTIVATION!

 

by Neoclassic
10-09-10
Your motivation: find it or I kick your @##.
That's not motivation.
Just find it.
No. I thought you were a hippy--all peace and love!
WHOOSH
I guess I'll go find it. I have nothing better to do.

 

by Neoclassic
10-12-10
why the h#ll?i mean rlly because he is my best friend!!!FRICK YOU KANGAROO WIT A AK-47!!!!!!!!
why the h#ll are you gonna shoot me?!?!
i dunno
well go ahead ad shoot me then!
errrrr......
go aheat get on with it![i want to die anyways....]
what ever moron

 

by Neoclassic
10-17-10
sweat hevan
"Sweet Heaven", I'll see you find.
r u gramur police
What? Yeah. Also, "Are You Grammar Police?"
r u hear 2 taik my sole 2 jale
HECK YEAH!

 

by Neoclassic
10-19-10
*thump* *thump*
Hush. They're coming.
Beep.
What? No!
Boop beep beep bop boop.
tbc
What the hell are you talking about?
Beep, you, beep boop bopetty boop beep. BEEEEP

 

by Neoclassic
10-19-10
Calm down. You're not going to explode.
Beep boop.
Oh.
BEEEEEEP BAP BOOP BOOP BEEP A BOOPAAAABOOOBABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Beep.

 

by Neoclassic
10-19-10
I... AM... ICICLE... MAN.
Does whatever a crazy maniac icicle dude does.
Hey!
I said it.
'Maniac' was overkill, buddy.
Why should I give a sh*t?

 

by Neoclassic
10-24-10
Remember the last 4 corners? That was DOPE. But it was a while ago and I've kind of forgotten what happened. Don't you guys know anything about that episode?
Was that an INSULT I hear?
No. No! It wasn't. I just want to know if you guys can fill me in on what happened on the last episodes of 4 corners. I forgot because chickens don't have very good memories.
Chicken, I'll fight you for info!
No, I don't feel like it.
Chicken.

 

by Neoclassic
10-24-10
No sweat.
UH!
No, no sweat!
Uh huh, uh, huh!
Cut!
Dammit! What did I do wrong?
I left out an "Uh-Huh".

 

by Neoclassic
10-24-10
1. Jim Hassel
I told you NO! Now feel my LASER BEAM WRATH!
WHATS IT TOO YA ROBOT DAD?!
2. Terminator
RRRGH. That's it, miss, you're banned from using the toaster and you're grounded. GO to your room.
Naw, I don't feel like it.
3. Tom Cruise Bot
Uh... Uh... What do I do?
C'mon, Dad! Come to my tea party!

 

by Neoclassic
10-24-10
You will submurge beneath the ocean
while it teaches your soul how to see
the spanish castles in space.

 

by Neoclassic
10-24-10
This is an improvement of the comic Who Watches the Watchmen. (By the way, you need to get that comic out of here. It sucked, sorta.)
I can bring forth anything with my mind! I bring forth, GOAT!
ZOOP
Why hello, goat. How has your day been? Met any nice goats?
?

 

by Neoclassic
10-25-10
My plan will come into place.
WEEKEND NEWS: icanhazchezburger BANKRUPT!
Oh, shit.
They had too many bathroom themed fails.
DAMN IT!
Also, an owl was trying to kill them. Consider the bankruptcy a, er, suicide bankruptcy.

 

by Neoclassic
10-25-10
MMMMMWAAAAHA!
What the hell?
Who the hell are you?
Well I don't think I can tell you. This comic doesn't last long enough and it's too stupid for me to put anything relatively dramatic in.
You're a self critic.
Correct.

 

by Neoclassic
10-25-10
Ok, I've heard about this so called Owl. He's looking for a chezburger.
Yeah! It's on the news every day! I mean I see it EVERY day. "Owl Hates Himself" "Owl Kills Himself"--
Wait what? "Owl Kills Himself"?
Uh... yeah. Didn't you hear me?
That really happened?
Of course not. But it's coming soon on DVD and Blu-Ray.

 

Too bad for you. You're almost dry.
by Neoclassic, 10-25-10

 

This isn't looking so good.
by Neoclassic, 10-25-10

 

.
by Neoclassic
10-25-10
There was a great fire last night. Horrible. HORRIBLE.
Back to Lisa and the robbery downstairs. Long. LONG article. HEE HEE

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