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| Aliens to port, Number One! | |
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| Joe, for the last time - you're not Jean Luc Picard, you're a midget. And this isn't the Enterprise, it's my parents' basement. You just hit that joint a little hard, buddy, that's all. | |
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| Nonsense, Number One! The aliens obviously have you under their mind control! Now inhale this fire stick that Dr. Crusher concocted to bring you back to your old self! | |
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| Aliens to port, Number One! | |
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