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| Mom, there's something I need to tell you. I've been putting it off for awhile now so I'm just going to come right out and say it. Mom, I'm straight. | |
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| Straight? Sweety, you're not straight, you're just going through a tough time right now. | |
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| It's not a phase, Mom - I've never seen boys in a sexual light. Not that I haven't tried. The many sweaty hours in Tommy Jones' pickup can attest to that. | |
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| But you can't be straight! What will the neighbors say! What will my family say! I'll tell you! They'll say you're a pervert! And they'll say I'm a bad mother! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT! | |
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| If you're going to scream at me, I'm going to leave. | |
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| Go ahead! Go propagate your species, you selfish bastard! | |
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