All comics by Psyberdude

Profile

 

by Psyberdude
9-22-05
So the Boss man pulled me out of the meeting and told me I was supposed to hit the nail on the head...
Yah, and?...
I really dont see how this would have helped..
Dude! There is a reason why your not supposed to have tools!!

 

by Psyberdude
9-22-05
I'm supposed to track everyones productivity...
Hey, what are you doing?
Getting some coffie, Why?
Well, can you write up some procedures for that and email them to me?
Damn, another ignorant micro manager!

 

by Psyberdude
9-22-05
So, whats the new manager like?
Oh, man...
That bad hu?
Um, yah, oh by the way I emailed you the new procedures to get coffie.
You gotta be friggen kidding me?!
It's not really that bad actualy, I added we have to go out to the pub to get coffie after 2PM

 

by Psyberdude
9-22-05
Say, What ya doing?
Well I screwed up on my taxes last year so im hacking the IRS D-base.
Great! can you write up a procedure for that?
Sure, Should I write up the procedures for smokeing dope as well for our drug policy?
Yah, that would be a great help.

 

by Psyberdude
9-22-05
Yo Dude, I got the new drug polocy procedures... *Cough* *Cough*
Great, is that helping your productivity?
Oh yah man! who ever wrote that up knows their shit man.
Excellent, keep up the great work. . Wollin..unmu..thoo..
Dude I'm so friggen stoned, I think the boss is like freaking me out man.

 

by Psyberdude
9-22-05
Psst, Acording to the new drug policy I cant get fired for this...
uh..
Hey HR lady, about our new drug policy...
Yes? God those blue pills make me horny..
*!* Um, I'll meet ya over in the supply closet.
Did i just say that outloud again?

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
What the hell is wrong with everyone?!
Um,..
Why the hell do you wear a space suit at work?
Um...
wanna meet int he supply closet?
I'll be right there!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Yo! you following the office drug policy?
Gee, I guess not.
Wow! I got such a rush of productive ideas, things that can turn this comany around! I cant belive how productive I'm becomming!
Damn! He's been sitting there the whole day, I wonder if I should leave him in the parking lot.
.. uuuu...

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Are you playing video games at work?
Yah, It's Smokencrack 2, when I get my hot elf babe up to level 60 I can sell her on the market for $700
Hmm. what level are you at?
I'm at level 58.
Excellent! Keep up the good work!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
I cant believe you where in your underwear the other day you slut!
Wanna meet int he supply closet? I got my toys with me.
.. Um okay.
Sweet!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
What the hell you doing here in your underwear?
I'm getting my space suit cleaned.
Your such a freak!
and?...
Fine, I'll meet you in the closet.

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Dude! This is like the best job ever!
Why do you say that?
because of our manditory drug policy.
Is that a spider on your nose?
Oh wow, This trip just went bad!
What trip? we didn't go anywhere yet.

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Sup?
I'm worried about our jobs, everyone is stoned, nothing is getting done, im actualy getting laid..
No problems, i billed the new manager as over time, outsourced our jobs to China, we have 250% increased produ.. Wait you get laid?!
Yah, why?
Sweet Jesus when did this happen?
When the new drug policy went into effect.

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Hey HR lady, in the closet now!
Sure.. wait a minute.
Are you a virgin?
Yah, Why?
Sorry cant help you, go see the reception lady.

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
I'm supposed to see you about going into the closet.
Who sent you?
The HR lady.
Virgin hu?, sorry cant help you.
What the hell?!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Hey You a hooker?
Yah, you a cop?
Nope, I need to get laid so I'm not a virgin anymore.
Hey now, Im a hooker, not a desperate hooker. you should go to the monastery .
What the hell?! since when was being a virgin a social disease?

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Um, You take virgins?
Yah, that’s our specialty!
God Damn it! its about time! Jesus friggen Christ!
Blasphemy!! Where’s my ruler?!
Uh oh!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
I cant believe I got my ass kicked by a nun!
Watchya need?
Um. whatever will knock me on my ass and make me not care that I'm a Virgin!
Wholy shit, Now im out of drugs to sell.
Thanks, I'm going to go O.D.

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Wholy shit Dude! I cant belive what you did yesterday!
What? I got stoned, everyone is stoned, so what.
No dude, after you took the drugs, a total booth babe vender came in and you did her in the closet!
What?! I got laid yesterday and I can't remember it?! Wholy Shit! I get laid and I'm not be there for it!
Dude! Thats harsh, she totaly rocked!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Hey HR lady, im not a virgin anymore, lets go!
Sorry the supply closet is booked.
What the hell?! When do you need an apointment for the supply closet?
Too many people needing it, now ya got to book an apointment with the reception lady. Excuse me my 2:00 appointment.
You ready?
Yah, lets go, I'm late for lunch.

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Hey IS guy I need you, my computer is broken.
Sweet Jusus my life sucks!
My desk is this way.
Um, why did you lock the door?
I got my own office, I dont need a closet, Now strip!

 

by Psyberdude
9-23-05
Did you hear the CEO paid us a visit the other day?
Uh oh!
They are replacing our ignorant micro manager.
This doesn't sound good.
Yah, I think im only going to get laid once a year without that drug policy.
Yo! Try loosing the space suit!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hi I'm the new manager, My name is chainsaw Chuck.
Your fired, get the fuck outta here!
Hi I'm the new manager. My name is Chainsaw Chuck...

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hi I'm the new manager. My name is Chainsaw Chuck.
Hi
Your Fired, Get the fuck outta here!
I'm not an employee, I'm a customer.
Oh, sorry, Buy our shit, then get the fuck outta here! I got a buisness to run!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hi, I’m from corporate. I'm here to replace you.
Hold on a sec...
...
Hi, I'm from corporate I'm here to serve you.
Thats better.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Geeze your a freak! what the hell is wrong with you.
and?..
and? Who the hell wears a space suit to work?
Don't you want to goto the supply closet?
Are you outta your mind?! Geez you high or something?
oh yah, I forgot they fixed the drug policy.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hi, I'm the new manager, My name is Chainsaw Chuck.
Your...
.. Nice gun.
Thanks.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
That new manager is a total fuck-wad!
um...
I cant belive he goes around firing everyone, whats his friggen problem, what a fuck tard!
uh...
OH Shit, he's standing right behind me isn't he?

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hi, I'm the new manager, My name is Chainsaw Chuck.
Your...
Is that those new G8 wireless chips?
Yah, I only got three left.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Whoa, Dude! wheres your legs at.
'your..
Dude, like, your trippy! man this stuff is hitting me like, um, a ton of heavy things.
that stuff in the left, get into it!
Blip* all your bases are belong to us.
Wow! I was totally unaware a robot could get a contact high!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
I thought you where replaced!
Sorry cant talk now, got computers to fix.
keeps busy, fixing things, may keep him.
The door locked?
Yah, strip my hottie IS guy,

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
greetings master unit.
Greetings slave unit, where is I.S. guy?
He is busy assisting me, he is fixing human interface units.
Excellent! Work him harder, I want to see him crawling out of here every day!
So if I take this I can do it six times a day?
It's all about production, now strip and get busy!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
I need to have the I.S. Guy with me on this business trip.
Hmm. Let me check something.
I.S. guy, Sales lady sez she needs you to go with her on this next buisness trip.
God no! She workes me too much, I dont think I can take it any more!
Request granted. Make sure he earns his keep!
I'll ride him so hard he'll see double!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
We have a two day layover you better perform!
I got an email from sales lady. The I.S. guy had to be checked into the hospital for exhaustion.
She said she needs to extend her trip for two more days to let I.S. guy recover and to get the job done properly.
Tell her granted, and to have her work I.S. guy harder!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Wholy Friggen Christ man! She worked me so hard i wont be able to walk for a week!
Is this caused by what I think is going on?
Yah. 15 times a day on a 8 day trip
Dude! High five! you rock!
Yah! That trip totaly rocked!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Whats with I.S. guy and Sales lady?
Not sure, why what have you heard?
Moans and groans... All day long... From her office.
Hey I.S. guy. My computer is broken, I need you!
I Can't, I'm dating the Sales lady.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
What the hell do you do anyways?
I create stuff in the clean room.
Like what?
Stuff.
What kind of stuff.
The Stuff you buy.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hi, Im chainsaw Chuck. Your Fired Get the fuck outta here!
You can't fire me Im union, go talk with the shop stewart.
Wait a minute, Your the Stewart.
Oh yah, How about Kiss my ass, Does that work for you? It works for me.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
I never see you do anything but things are always done, how's that?
I'm way over qualified and bored, Management can't tell me what to do so I get things done fast so I can screw off all day.
Well can you stay more busy doing other peoples work?
Go talk with the Shop Stewart...
and?...
How about kiss my ass. I know that's working for me.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hey Tech Dude.
Heya I.S. Guy, what ya playing?
smokencrack 2. But you cant play cuz you dont have network cable on the factory floor.
Be right back.
12 minutes later...
Okay, Cat-5 cable hooked up and ready to go.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hiya Tech Dude.
Heya Chuckie.
How's things in the factory?
Fan-friggen-tastic!
Heya Chuckie.
Your fired, get the fuck outta here!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hey Tech dude, my computer is broken.
Go talk with I.S. I'm married.
No, really, my computer is actualy broken, and he can't fix it.
OOoo, okay, well according to my contract you gotta bribe me with food before I can do any non-union jobs.
I got snickerdoodles.
Done, It'll take me about 4 minutes, I hope you know your eating into my screw-off time.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Heya wheres the I.S. Guy.
He's helping the sales lady.
Hold on a sec...
...
Ninja assault program activated, Must kill I.S. Guy...
hehe, this is going to be funny.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hey Tech-Dude, whats up?
Trying to figure out what to get I.S. Dude for his baby shower.
Who's expecting?
Sales lady will be next month, She left her pills on the counter in the break room, and I switched them with Tick-Tacks.
Can I get them a stroller?
Yah, I was thinking of getting them a changing table.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hey! Congrats Sales Lady.
What? On my service production record?
Um, Yah if you want to call it that.
??
What was that all about? Where the hell is I.S. Guy!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hey Reception Lady, where is I.S. Guy?
He's at home getting some assault Gear, apparently his assistant has a screw loose.
Great! er, I mean, hold my calls, I'll be out of the office the rest of the day on service calls.
Sure, no problem. By the way congrats.
Why the hell is everyone saying congrats to me for?
Oh, you didnt hear? Your getting another member to your "Sales family" that you will be in charge of.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Two and a half weeks later.
Sup?
Hey I.S. Guy we need to talk.
YOUR WHAT?!!!
Congrats on the baby Sales Lady, you know if it's a boy or girl yet?
How the hell does everyone know about this?

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Are you Crazy?!
The point to remember is, I cant get anymore pregnant than I already am, and I still have needs.
I don't know, this doesn't seem right to me.
Let me put it to you this way. there will be a point where you wont get any for almost a year.
Never thought of that, good point!
Great! Now strip!

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Sup?
Hey, hows things?
hmm, Sales lady is pregnant, she is the only one I have really been with, where getting married. My life is over.
I'm talking about the new servers.
Oh that, kick'n ass, I got them Set up for Doom-4, Dungeon Mega-Assault for the RPG'ers and extra storage for picture downloads.
Sweet! You got all the bases covered.

 

by Psyberdude
9-24-05
Hey, How come your not camping out in Sales ladies Office anymore?
Well, now that we are married, we dont seem to do it anymore.
Whys that? Is it because when you get married you get burned out on doing it?
Nope, I still want to do it.
Whats the deal then?
Well, when you get married, and you think about it, it turns out your doing it with someone your related to.

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