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| I'm so nervous... this is my first day as a mall santa! | |
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| Don't worry, you'll do fine. At least you better or your fat ass is fired! Now get out there! | |
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| (Ok here goes nothing) HO! HO! HO! Hello little boy, and have you been good or nau-- ZOINK! | |
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| Santa, for Christmas, I want you to pee on me. | |
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