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| Once upon a time a fairy godmother granted life to a small bird house. The only catch was that this bird house would fall in love with anyone who ever said the word "Ham". | |
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| Tragically though, the bird house unprepared for the shock of life suffered a fatal heart attack the second it first looked upon the world and tumbled from the tree to the ground below. | |
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| Even more tragically, a young couple having afternoon tea precariously near a land mine were blown to pieces after the bird house detonated said land mine. | |
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| Into the air their pieces fell, showering upon the land like a million tiny glistening jewels. | |
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| And that's why we Celebrate Christmas. | |
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| (This story is so good, when I tell it my grandma gives birth to an entire german family.) | |
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