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| "My fellow americans..I want to thank you for your support" | |
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| Oh good, the acceptance speech | |
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| "I would also like to thank my wife and my kids and God" | |
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| I wonder if he gets paid for every member of the American public he thanks | |
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| I am also greatful for the support of my dog, and my dentist and the homeless man who I kick every morning on the way to bailing my kids out of jail | |
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| I'd like to thank you from a train, I'd thank you from a plane. I'd like to thank voting republicans this year, if we don't die first it'll be a long 4 years. | |
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