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| This is Theodore Smythe, reporting. Hong Xiuquan's revolt against the Chinese emperor has no sign of ending. | |
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| When asked for comment, the Heavenly King (whose sanity has been questioned) replied "Hibble gibble wib wib." | |
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| Manchu emperor Xianfeng replied, "I concur with this statement entirely. And I would also like to add, friggle miggle gumgum piggle." | |
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