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| Oh Jesus, I pray to you to help me conquer my alcholoism, my chronic mastrubation problem and my Scottish affectations. | |
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| Actually, let me be honest here. I'm not Jesus. I'm actually Jesus' beer swilling brother Jed. | |
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| . . .do I look like him? He got mad and changed me into him for calling him a "TV Magic Queer." Then he ran off to Hawaii while they crucifed me. I see him again I'm busting his head to the white meat | |
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| Damn. That's fucked up. So uhm. . .anything you can do to help me? | |
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| I'm nailed to a cross. I can't even change the channel on my fucking TV. | |
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