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| I answered another letter today. Listen: Dear Fred 'n Ed, I'm forty years old, and I drink a bottle of scotch every day. Mom says if I don't stop, I'm grounded. What should I do? Signed, Junior. | |
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| Dear Weirdo, You obviously have more problems than just not drinking enough. Add a daily bottle of gin to your diet. | |
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| Sage advice, brother of mine. | |
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| And for godsake, tell mom you want your own room. You freak. | |
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| You always know just what to say. | |
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