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| Hello? Guiness Book of World Records? I'd like to submit my name for the record least amount of physical contact with the opposite sex. | |
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| Don't believe me, eh? Try this on for size: ZERO! | |
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| Hey, buddy, I've got news for you... | |
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| Apparently, I'm tied with most philatelists and networked game players, not to mention every single member of the Kirk Cameron fan club. | |
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| Wow. Even your pathos is pathetic. | |
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