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| Man... Bruce Willis looks so hot in his new movie with a shaved head! | |
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| Wait... a celebrity changed his hairstyle? This is breaking news! I've got a job to do! | |
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| This just in! Balding celebrity Bruce Willis flies to Thailand to get a hair transplant from an orangutan. "It worked for Donald Trump," he was reported to have said... | |
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| Um, Jon? Did you write a three-page exposé based on the offhand remark I made the other day? | |
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| I'm particularly proud of how I cleverly wove Oprah's weight into it. | |
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