"If Spooj had a tattoo of Sagara Sosuke on his chest, he'd have to constantly be showing his bare-chest to 14-year-old girls, and then you'd have to kill him in the name of Yehweh."
"The wetter something is the more of it there is"
"A man's stash of pornography is like his woman, if you look at it it's like committing adultery"
"Let's treat Nevin to a...Bi-Popsi-Kwanda! [long pause] I forgot what I was about to say in mid-sentence so I had to improvise"
