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| Todays top story is the trial of Michael Jackson. | |
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| Yeah Dave I can't believe that guy was found not guilty! All we can say is start locking your doors parents! | |
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| Todays most frequently asked question is have we located Osama Ben Laddan's hideout yet? | |
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| The answer to that is, No! We have no idea where his position is! | |
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| Todays most mob causing topic is the 2005 election! | |
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| Yes mobs are forming everywhere, as a matter of fact I see one outside of the studio now! | |
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