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| welcome to channel 3 news, i'm Dixie Normous | |
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| and i'm Sandy Swallows. we have breaking news, a 36 year old man molested a 3 year old girl, a girl has been kidnapped from Chicago, and a football player was caught using drugs | |
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| its always the same, nothing exciting ever happens | |
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| oh, and this just in, a car blew up in Iraq and killed 11 people. | |
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| thats all for tonight, thanks for watching channel 3 news. | |
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