All comics by Sparta

 

Kid Crazy by Sparta 11-10-03
DO you mind if I uhhh...well kill you??...... ok sorry to bother you. YES I DO MIND!!	AWWWW, look how cute that psycho kid looks! I'm not suppose to be cute!	NO luck either huh??... That's nothing, they called me a pidgeon. They keep callin' me cute!!

 

The Big Gig by Sparta 11-10-03
Hey there, wanna go see me play at the club, i'm DJ Milinko, I can hook you up! I wonder if this guy knows i'm a dog.	How about $3000?? Hey babe, how about me and you at the club... tonight??	Yay!! A fan after my gig in my room!! Are you over 21??... Hmmm, Are you sure?? yea, I'm 21, I swear!!

 

The One?? by Sparta 11-10-03
Neon, we are from a thing called the matrix and I, Norpheous, believes you are the one to save the real world! ....	Legend goes there is one who can stop all this war. Now you can take the Blue pill and you forget all this, take Red and i'll show you how how far the gopher hole goes, what will be your choice? ...	Godamnit not again! Why is it the "ones" are always young or old! wahhhh, POOPY, googagigo

 

Day Off by Sparta 11-10-03
So priest Bob, How fast were you goin and what time did this happen? Well, it was after that kegger last night, then I drove home fine, drank some of the gods wine, drove around some more and crashed into you.	First I see a priest get arrested then i'm gonna be burned alive while crashing in a plane with 100 other people, Where the HELL is god today?!?!?!	Meanwhile... Yea don't worry homie [inhales deeply] *cough cough* Man thats sum good shit..... dude, bro im so stoned, good thing i took the day off, hehehe. SO Jesus, are we cool now??.... Is it, well then pass it here, dawg! I'll show you how to do it [Enhales deeper] *COUGH* AWWW yea!

 

Blue Screen Of Death by Sparta 11-10-03
Error, Error, Error... Man what's up with these errors.	I wonder if Alt+Ctrl+Delete will fix it?	AWW CRAP, THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!! I get more business this way....

 

Fast Food Customer 1 by Sparta 11-10-03
Hi, welcome to Space Burger can I help you, would you like the special 99 cent burger today?	........ Yea, how much is the special 99 Cent burger??	What stupid customers these days... Excuse sir, you didnt answer my question.

 

Too Much SWG by Sparta 11-10-03
Hey Ryan come on man, theres naked women at my house and they are desperate. Hold on, Brian! I'm 3000 points away from being a TerisKasi in Star Wars Galaxies!	You've always been a good friend to me and I wanna lose my virginity to you before I go to college. What do you say?? Pssh, Fine! Just give me a little while!	2 Weeks later.... Ok, i'm ready.... so now you're not ready! Why did you pull me out of my game if we aren't going to do anything, i'm going back to my game....

 

RIAA Trouble by Sparta 11-10-03
Hey Sparta, Are you ok??.... Sorry bro, but we had to get out of the RIAAs hands somehow. Dude, we live in a freakin' crap hotel cuz of you Syanide!	THIS IS THE RIAA, WE FOUND YOU ONCE AGAIN, DO NOT RESIST ARREST!! OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE ON YOUR CHEAP ASSES!! Syanide!!! You said you were doin' homework not downloading movies!!! Wait till I get my hands on you....	Well Syanide, You happy?? We are in jail now!... And you said to take that way in the alley, pssh! At least we have a cell together...... Well, I thought those red and blue RIAA lights were for a street party.

 

Fear The Morph by Sparta 11-11-03
No, not really, you look like something I was last Halloween. GROWL!!! Ummm aren't you scared of me??.... Time for me to morph into something scarier.	Nope, now I feel like playing Pacman. How about now??..... Hmmmm, I think i'm gonna have to go extreme, I didn't wanna morph into this but you made me do.	You're kidding right.... FEAR ME NOW!! SQUEAK!!

 

Sing Along Doubt by Sparta 11-11-03
[Sings along Off-Key] "You and me, We use to be together, everyday together, always, I really feeeel, that i'm losing my bestfriend...." [Music Playing, No Doubt - Don't Speak] "You and me, We use to be together, everyday together, always, I really feeeel, that i'm losing my bestfriend...."	[Sings along Off-Key] "I can't believe this could be the end, Your letting go, and if its real then i don't want to know, Don't speak..." What the heck you singing Syanide....	[Sings along Off-Key] "To kow what you seein, so please stop explaining, don't tell cuz it hurts, don't speak, i know what you're thinking" [Stops singing] I'm not that BAD!

 

After Shots by Sparta 11-12-03
... ......Whew, what a night, babe you were great we should do this next time.	... So, since we had a great time, what's your name and number so we can do this again??	Well, my name is Saheeb, my number is 445-6531, do call again, I had a GREAT time! AHHHHH CRAP!!! Next time when the boys say You've had enough Tequilla shots, you've had enough.

 

Speed Reading by Sparta 11-12-03
Alright Hot Shot, you think your so smart lets see you read this book!..... If you read under 50 words a minute this book explodes, Ready BEGIN! BOGUS!	It's FISH YOU IDIOT, FISH!! One ff fish twhoa, oh no two TWO ff uh OH FISH Red........ Dude, now I lost my place.

 

Bad Kitty by Sparta 11-12-03
Hi, i'm calling about the AD in the paper. Yea.. i'll be with you in a minute.	Uhhh.... Bad pussy!!	Is that the name of your cat sir?? Cat?? What Cat?? I have no cat.

 

Lost Woodsman by Sparta 11-14-03
Awww, cogflabit, I lost my way in the woods again! Hi sir, Im Harry Potter, Can I help you with magic??	Kid, are you on them drugs that are called XTC? No sir, I be trying to help you out of the woods with my mag----	Damn tweeked out pixie kids, thank god for Guns.

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