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| Hail citizen! What's happening? | |
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| Don't you know, buddy? Thursday night is Morehead Date Night on Main Street! | |
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| You mean the Main Street with the bank, the empty storefronts, the bakery that's never open and the tattoo parlor? | |
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| Makes sense. Morehead is all about not having anywhere to spend your money and getting hepatitis. | |
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| Ima takin' my gurl TWICE! | |
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