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| I'm Dave. AKA Darkboy. Amish superhero and internet porn star. | |
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| I'm Chuck. Entrepreneur and roommate. | |
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| I'm Penny. I'm Darkboy's public relations coordinator. Chuck and I are the only one's who know Darkboy's secret identity. | |
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| I'm Dostoevsky. Chuck's best friend. | |
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| I'm Jules. Penny's my best friend, and I have a crush on her friend Dave. | |
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| I'm Kurt. Chuck's accountant. My identical twin brother Durt is Chuck's lawyer. | |
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