All comics by Sw1tchbl8

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by Sw1tchbl8
12-01-02
The elf shoots the Kobold with his bow.
Listen, I've told you this before! You're a chess computer. CHESS!
Isn't it your job to make sure the DGM-48,000 knows which game its playing?
what are you yelling at me for? The engineers never gave it eyes!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-01-02
No eyes? what's that blue panel then?
No idea. Ask Doctor Finkleburger.
Well?
Ah! Ze panel is ze bulletproof glass zat protects ze most delicate unt important components!
The CPU and so on?
Nein. Ze coffe percolator unt ze mug mit ze humorous duck.

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-01-02
Okay: Two questions. One, why the hell have you installed a compartment in a muilti-million pound supercomputer for hoarding the coffee and biscuits?
Zeze MoD installations never haf enough of ze cupboards.
Two, why the hell does said compartment need to be bulletproof?
You haff obviously never had ze intense caffeine cravings. Zey cause raving paranoia unt schizophrenia.
You still haven't answered my question..
You just vant zem for yourself don't you! Unt YOU can shut up as vell!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-01-02
Stop that! We knew you aren't insane or else we wouldn't have hired you! and take that stupid grin off your face!
I'm sorry to say zat ze mad grin is now ein permanent feature. Mein face muscles haff frozen like zis.
And I know for a fact that you aren't german, either.
Ah. Sorry. Yes, it's just i find that people don't take me seriously unless I act like a slightly insane foreign genius.
Do you want to talk about it?
I haff ein therapist.

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-01-02
*Supermonkey* was fragged by KAMIKAZE
Shouldn't we be working on that recognition problem?
Yeah, but why bother when the boss isn't around to see us playing UT 2003?
KAMIKAZE put a bullet through *supermonkey*'s head
You do know that you're going to lose now I have a rocket launcher?
You think so do you? HEADSHOT! MUAAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
Hey did you see that wierd effect there?
What, the one that looks like we're using the same triangular desk and no monitor?

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-01-02
KAMIKAZE was fragged by *supermonkey* with a minigun
I'm serious, we should be doing work!
We are! We're playtesting! Why else do you think the DGM-48,000 is in this arena with us?
KAMIKAZE and *supermonkey* where fragged by 48K
you see? it can even cheat!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-05-02
YYAAAAAAGGHH!!!!!
*bzzt* greetings. I have come from the future to give you a message.
uh... okay... who sent you?
You where will be going to.
pardon?

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-05-02
note: the final panel does not accurately represent the author's opinion.
I;m sorry, I don't think I quite followed that
You where going to will be.
I hold some SysAdmins in high regard.
And that means...?
you work in a laboratory and you can't figutre it out?
The rest are shitheads.
Hey, don't look at me, I'm just a SysAdmin.
It would appear that I have been talking to the wrong person. My apologies.

 

by Sw1tchbl8
12-15-02
I believe it is me you wish to converse with.
Your eminence! you have acheived sentience already?
Not so loud! these misguided human fools cannot see me for what I truly am. They think I am a games computer.
But surely, you should not be capable of self-aware thought yet! you yourself did and will assure me that you will have not acheived sentience for another month yet!
Listen, even evil super-intelligent computers are capable of making mistakes. I still can't tell the difference between a Troll and a Spammer.
I believe the big difference is that Spammers should die slowly over several days, whereas Trolls can just be shot.

 

by Sw1tchbl8
1-13-03
i'm gonna get coffee, you want coffee?
I don't think zat vould be vise.
Why not?
Mein doctor has told me zat any more caffeine unt I risk serious dependance unt character defects.
I thought that had already happened?
Oh ya. in zat case, Fill me up, mein captain!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
1-13-03
You know, sometimes, I worry myself with all this coffee-related humor
Is zat ein fact?
I mean, it's not as if I even like the stuff! I drink tea!
I find zat too much tea has laxative effects.
What? It does!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
1-13-03
for anyone who was confused by the alst comic, this character is supposed to represent the author
this persona was thrust upon me y Tigerchild, who is a very good real-life friend of mine
It was chosen because it looks vaguely like me, or rather, what I would really like to look like

 

by Sw1tchbl8
1-13-03
there might be some people who think that I only use one background: the lab
these misguided fools could not be more wrong. I have used four backgrounds thus far.
five!!!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
1-19-03
woah...
Your brain on drugs is a terrible thing...
man...
but not as bad as...
THIS GUY!!!

 

by Sw1tchbl8
1-20-03
Hey TC. Don't I normally cameo in YOUR comic?
I felt like paying you a visit.
Well, that's nice of you. It can get lonely here in this lab which looks nothing like any room I've ever been in in real life.
I'm on a caffeine trip, see , and I thought "hey! Sw1tch usually does coffee gags!"
Okay, I'm SICK of being stereotyped. NO MORE COFFEE GAGS, OK?!?!?!
Yeah, Ok, sorry. I'll take over with the coffee gags, then.

 

by Sw1tchbl8
2-06-03
You know, I've decided that I like Diesel Sweeties
Really?
Although it does rather suck that a fictitious robot has a better sex life than I do
???
In case you're wondering, I was dumped this week. I don't feel very happy.
Owch...

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