Anorexic Irony (This seemed funnier in my head)

Author: The_Artist_Formerly

Date: January 8, 2001

Calista Flockhart reads her diary
Dear Diary: Today I indulged and licked five postage stamps for lunch. If I keep doing this, I will become a fat,bloated whale.
She Continues...
Sometimes I feel like trash to be thrown out with the garbage.
But then I realize that I have enough money to buy any figure I want, so I eat cheesecake. Then I throw it right back up. Have to watch my figure, you know.