All comics by The_squirrel

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by The_squirrel
7-18-01
HELL
JAIL
dear bob, Hell is better then prison. Love Jebus
Well now if this was just the most pointless thing ever.

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
I could fix this!
OUCH!
Don't say "There, much better" because that would just be a cheap joke.

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
CHICKEN!!
Bob what's wrong?
CHICKEN!!
Well I guess I am off!
BAD PUNCH LINE!!
I guess bob was hungry.

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I AM SATAN! FEAR ME!
Come on. Why did the chicken cross the road?
THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
SHUT UP!

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
I will make you laugh!
We need to get some chicks!
dude
Mullet!
I mean we are two hot guys. Right?
Your a guy?
Mullets are funny
YES!
dude

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
I hate kids!
What are you thinking about mister?
Get out of here kid.
Awww shucks.
A punch line.
Yeah, and so he said that's not my hand!
HAHAHAHAHA

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
Where's Bob?
Dude.
Canada
Where am I? How did I get here?
Bonjour!
Where did Bob go?
I fear the worst.

 

by The_squirrel
7-18-01
How did I get her in Canada? Oh no here comes a native. Act cool
Bonjour! Mon ami, que si du ta ja`quies? Oui? Ay non pet bu.
Idiot
Idiot.
That was a close one.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
Ho am I going to get out of here.
Ok Jack ass give me all your money.
I am sorry mr squirrel I don't have any money.
Don't feed my that bull shit, now hand it over or prepare to lose you balls.
We canadans want you to remember
Wild animals can be dangrous.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
God save me. Canada sucks.
Hi.
Good day mate, what do you think of canada?
Everone knows what he is going to say. Sure, I know it's a bad joke but I don't care.
I love it.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
I think I got a way of geting us out of here.
Really?
Jebus Jebus Jebus!
...
Did he really think that would work.
Remember we are dealing with Bob here.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
I wonder if the boss is mad? I have been out of work for a week now.
Yes, its a cheep joke. But I had to get him out of Canada some how.
Where have you been bob.... ummm this place is freaking me out
There is no place like work!

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
Welcome back bob!
I hate that I can't be with that girl from canada.
Welcome back bob!
I hate work so much!
Warning: Dilbert style joke.
Welcome back bob!
I hate new guys.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
What if you worked in hell?
What would you do?
But the real question is how much would you make?

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
GET TO WORK YOU MAGGOT!
That's all we do all day. Just work work work work!
Time to go home.
Really did you think it would turn out diffrent?
You know all we do all night is nothing. Just nothing nothing nothing....

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
Dude, dose milk taste salty when it gose bad?
Dude, we had milk?
Yeah there was about half a glass in the frig.
Umm dude that was not milk.
Yes I know it is sick but just remember your the one who is laughing.
...
...

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
Bad Joke in 3...
Hello I am the girl for Canada I am comeing to live with you because I have no money.
Hello!
2...
Hi
Did you get my letter? Good, well I broght my dog with me I hope you don't mind he is so smart.
1...
No No I love dogs.
I eat POOP.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
Nietzsche once said "There are no facts, only interpretations."
If this is true all I have to do is look at my life in the right light and I will be happy.
When you look at it I guess that some black guy was right when he said, "Life is shit so deal with it"
No matter how you look at it you work in hell.
GAHHHHHH!!

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
What would happen if brain dead people called Ms Cleo?
Hello, ms Cleo?
Yes this is Ms. Cleo, let me read you mind.
Ok.
Well lets see here.
Yes?
Sorry hun, I am getting a blank.

 

by The_squirrel
7-19-01
When robots from space come to take over the world...
Take me to your leader earthling.
Bob its for you.
Take me to your leader earthling.
Ok.
It will be full of 50's humor.
Take me to your leader earthling.
Bob you got some splaing to do.

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
You brain-dead barforific hog-humping dickwad!!
You brain-dead barforific hog-humping dickwad!!
I am guessing that the boss is in a good mood today?

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
This one will get strange.
What's that?
...
Fizzue a tue!
ARGHHHHHHHHH!
HAHAHA, do it again.
You just wait, Fizzue a tue!

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
Pink fart nasty boobs.
Damn right I hear you.
Who do you like to win the game.
I am a fucking bench, sod off bird before I belt you.
The sad thing is this comic is better then some of the shit that is put up on this site. Such comics as No Bob No for example.
Then call me gabe the white knight.
O your part of the klan too?

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
This one will go over lots of peoples heads
Bob.
What?
Our lantern dose not work, do you know why?
Yeah I sure do, because it has been dismantled.
HAHA your one punny guy.

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
Before we start I would like to say, FDA all the way!
The Palistines hit anouther Israeli city today, it's a real same.
Something must be done.
Like what?
I propose to put an end to war though a series of high profile, diplomatic luncheons.
Really?
Yeah, but I don't think that they need to happen simultaneously, though. We'd be better off if they occurred peace meal.

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
Hello.
Hello.
the joke
Arafat is in charge of the PLO, right?
Yasir.
I could have made it better, but that would have taken time.
...
...

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
BOB!
Yes, sir?
What do you do around here?
Why I am the lazy pagan, sir.
Really?
Yes, I have idol thoughts.

 

by The_squirrel
7-21-01
I am satan, ruler of darkness
I am Chicken, ruler of the not so well lit rooms.
Fool you dare mock me?
Ummmm....
I shot and killed the man who was writing this comic to tell you the truth that the goverment is hiding from you. An evil doctor named Gosbar created ALF the beloved tv creature in order... oh no the

 

by The_squirrel
7-22-01
Argh...
What.
I just realized I am not real, that there is some guy out there controling my life. Makeing me say the things I do. He controls me and everything I do.
Argh...
What?
I just realized I am a chicken.

 

by The_squirrel
7-22-01
Son, I am proud of you.
Thanks Dad. I love you man.
BWAK!!!!!!!
I love you too dad.
Son you are an idiot.
I love you too dad.

 

by The_squirrel
7-22-01
Our house over looks a mountian.
Really how can it do that?
What?
I mean how can you over look a mountian? They're huge.
No Bob No is the only comic which will give you the third panel to think about the joke.
I will say it again. "IDIOT."

 

by The_squirrel
7-22-01
This is a goverment test comic in which each character will say some of the worlds funniest words as come up by J-xbY9r3 super computer.
Broccli
Weasel
Cheese
Smoot
The goverment thanks you for your help.
SMOOT WEASEL PING SPOON

 

by The_squirrel
7-22-01
A good metaphor can get you out of any bad situation.
Really? Wait here.
ARGH!!!!
Pain is a big scary monster.
Ouch, I guess you should try similes.
Shut up, just shut up.

 

by The_squirrel
7-23-01
HELP!
Ok, you can go to my Doctor. Dr. Quack he is really crazy, man.
Later at the hospital
I am not going to make it.
Pageing Dr. Maniac, Dr. Clepto Maniac. Please put back Mr. Choler spleen.
I think I am going to take my chances in hell.
Well drop you pants and we will get underway.

 

by The_squirrel
7-23-01
Hi dude, I found the perfect girl for you.
Really, who?
Oh just some girl, I set you up on a blind date with her. She is coming at 6.
ARGH!!!
Dude it can't be that bad.
Tell her I am dead.

 

by The_squirrel
7-24-01
Wow, that star voyer movie was so cool. I wish I was like Captain Preckhead.
Star Voyer 29 just had to be the best one ever.
I think Star Voyer is stupid
Chicken of glakbar, high comander of the figorinea, what do you have to say of yourself and you actions?
Bob of stupid, high commander of the geeky stoner computer nerds, i must say "prepare to battle"

 

by The_squirrel
8-24-01
NNNNNN...nailed...
Nailed to the cross. Yeah, this was destened to happen sicne the day I was born. I am NNNNN..nailed to the cross.
Where I am going for the comic.
Your really thought jesus would find that funny.
Shut up.

 

by The_squirrel
8-24-01
2 + 2 =
4............. O GOD YEAH!!!
Kids remember don't wack off to your smarness, cause if you do it might bring about the end of the world.
Damn it.

 

by The_squirrel
8-28-01
Hallo. Ich hessie Goethe. Wie hesst du?
What the hell?
I am german you shit.
Damn it what are you saying?
One of three amrecian's die of cancer, are you one of them?
That's it I am out of here.
If you fucking come to this country, learn to speak the damn language.

 

by The_squirrel
8-31-01
Hello I am patrick. I am the new character for NO BOB NO.
Even after I created the worst comic character in the history of comic, I reamain as calm as a hindu cow....
In america.

 

by The_squirrel
9-02-01
Are you tired?
Yes why?
Cause you have been running through my mind all day.
Lame. You are a freak.... you need to get a life. Sending out pick up lines over the internet. In fact I am going to use my mental powers to in flame your computer.
Kids remember be careful who you talk to on the internet. An if you say "YES" it wont be rape.
SWEET GOD, MY LIFE IS OVER.

 

by The_squirrel
9-02-01
WORK WORK WORK WORK!
8 hours later.....
Thank goodness the work day is over. Now time for me to get ready to go out....
With who?
I HATE YOU.
AWWWW.. don't feel bad that you don't have a life.You could always talk to that girl on the internet. I bet she looks good. I am sure that only hott chicks are on the computer 6 hours every night.

 

by The_squirrel
9-03-01
Where is Ryan? I thought that the three of us were going out tonight.
He said something about being broke or something.
Gee... I am sure gald that you made me come to this satnic clut meeting instead of hanging with my friends.
Yeah, that's great. Don't touch me.... hell don't even look at me.
I love you, hun.
Drop dead, I fucking hate you.

 

by The_squirrel
9-03-01
I can't believe that he is going to play Tool at the christian youth rally.
Yeah that ryan is one crazy dude.
We'll mis him, We're going to mis him. Cuase he had a lot to say. He had a lot of nothing to say.
You suck....
Hey don't make me kick your ass for jesus.
Bring it.....

 

by The_squirrel
9-03-01
Ryan on a date
Hey babe, so you want to come to my place and have some sex?
HAHAHA.... your kidding right I thought that you were gay.
Ralf on a date
Hey, how about you and me, in bed, my place.
Sure sounds great.
Bob on a date
Hey so I had a good time tonight you think I could have maybe a kiss?
O my god is he talking to me. Maybe I should just keep walking. This freak can't be talking to me.

 

by The_squirrel
9-07-01
HOW TO PLAY IT SMOOTH.
Hello, how's it going?
I WANT YOU BODY NOW.
Yeah I hear you, so what you been up to?
GOD YOU MAKE ME SO HORNY
What the heck? Where is it.
I don't know, keep looking I know I droped my contact down there somewhere. By the way while your down there could you give me head??

 

by The_squirrel
9-07-01
Well I really don't need you any more. My REAL life is going good.
Yeah?
Yeah I got a hott girl, a great friend, a super car, I am just the man.
Well that is great. I am really happy for you.
Just a few min's before bob dies from blood lose....
Back so soon?
Yeah, my girl ran off with my friend, I trashed my car, and I GOT A FUCKING NAIL IN MY HEAD. what eles can go wrong?

 

by The_squirrel
9-10-01
This is Bob.
Bob sit's with the squirrels.
WHY bob WHY?
YOU ARE MY SLAVE BOY! IF YOU DON"T DO AS I SAY I AM GOING TO GUT YOU!!!
Yes, master!

 

by The_squirrel
9-10-01
So your saying that you are now the slave to an evil squirrel?
Yeah.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK? GET BACK TO GATHERING NUTS. DO YOU WANT ME TO STARVE? I SWAER TO GOD IF I STARVE TO DEATH I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!
Well that's just got to suck.
........

 

by The_squirrel
9-10-01
So how did you get away form that squirrel?
I threw a nut at him an ran away. What a stupid squirrel.
RING RING
Why the fuck am I always doing shit around here. GET THE PHONE LEROY, PLOW THE FEILDS LEROY. What color do they think my skin is. Anyway, what the fuck you want bitch.
Let me speek to bob.
An you thought that the comerical was stupid. Well you were right. FUCK BAXTER!
BOB BOB BOB BOB BOB BOB........
Holy shit it's the squirrel.

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