All comics by The_young_scot

Profile

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
Some of you may wonder, that even though I never seem to work, I can still afford to have the most up to date games...
Just know that some sacrifices must be made to live my lifestyle...
Half-Life 2.... you better be fucking worth this
Thats the spot....

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
I think my nuts are rusty

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
Today the highstreet adult shop ann summers was sued by a customer
The customer in question had apparently injured herself with a product, the store has called back that product.
The Ann Summers HQ
I'm sure it was user error...

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
Man, Halo 2's ending is so disappointing
Come on man you're always disappointed
What? like when?
Well remember how disappointed you were when you met the black knight?

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
Hey man, what you doing?
Talking to some chick in a chatroom
If she tries to come on you, its probably a guy
What? I just sent a naked picture and your telling me its not a chick?
GIVE ME BACK MY PICTURE! I KNOW YOUR NOT A CHICK!
This is just a terrible joke and if you didn't see it coming please sodomize yourself with a badger.

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
Elsewhere
Man I hate to be the one to tell you this, but someone put a picture of you on the net paying for a blow job
What? Its all a lie! I was framed!
Yes, the last frame actually.
You're going to hit me aren't you

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
My thoughts swirled around my head like smoke in the wind, maybe they were right, what I had done was wrong
Then the truth hit me like a piercing light through the fog of my obsession, something had to change in my life, I had to do things differently
You can turn the light on now, I've decided not to donkey punch you to death then make love to your carcass in front of your family
Do I still get paid? I really want Black & White 2

 

by The_young_scot
7-07-05
Breaking News
Welcome to the channel 4 news, our art guy is dyslexic..
Oh I'm gonna key your wife and fuck your car!
Tonight's main story, Brad Pitt chased me across northern France wielding some kind of lightsaber hedgehog, strangely before he caught me I awoke suddenly in my bed
As the state cannot protect my dreams Brad Pitt was executed one hour ago
And now Here's Sasha with the sports headlines.

 

by The_young_scot
7-08-05
I slept with your sister last night
Oh?
Yeah...I'm sorry I know this conversation couldn't really get more awkward
I stand corrected

 

by The_young_scot
7-08-05
"Movie Trivia Madness! In Jerry McGuire, What pet did Tom Cruise take from his office when quitting?"
Rene Zellweger
Rene Zellweger
We spend too much time together
We spend too much time together

 

by The_young_scot
7-10-05
I'm sorry you had to find out that I slept with him like that, but I love him so get used to it
But I love him too!
Well this is akward
Touche'

 

by The_young_scot
7-10-05
I mean I'm all for women's rights and stuff, women should be treated as equals..
Uh-huh
But If women are equals, why do they expect us to open the door for them, pay for everything and just basically worship them?
We have boobs

 

by The_young_scot
7-12-05
So will you please stop seeing my sister?
Do you want the short answer, or the long answer
The long answer.
Ok, the long answer is, "Nah"
Really? what was the short answer?
No

 

by The_young_scot
7-12-05
Tips on dating, in a conversation, maintain eye contact
So Suzi said that the dress was hers, but it was obviously Lauras..
Ocassionally grunt a generic response
Really
...Suzi's dress was pink with a blue trim, but this dress was pink with a navy blue trim...
In dire situations, use your imagination
Uh-huh
..and then suzi slipped the dress off and began touching Laura...

 

by The_young_scot
7-12-05
A pub, night time, someplace
Your gay aren't you
Why, are you?
I mean no

 

by The_young_scot
7-12-05
So you're saying therse no chance for us?
Only in your dreams
So....Could be along time before we're rescued....
Looks like we're the last two alive, we might have to re-populate the earth

 

by The_young_scot
7-12-05
Whoops I dropped the soap
Oh no! Its the first day of school and i'm naked!
Wanna make out?
So is there a chance for us now?
I'd kick you in the nuts, but you might enjoy it

 

by The_young_scot
7-12-05
Come on, play me at halo
No I hate video games, I just do the same thing over and over and you always complain I'm not doing it right, plus I don't really enjoy it
I could use that same excuse for something I do for you
Oh really? What?
Put it this way, your not getting oral sex for awhile.

 

by The_young_scot
7-13-05
clips from the new show G.I. Jesus
G.I. Jesus! The cartel have us surrounded!
Suppressing fire on them! send the alter boys on a flanking mission, and for my sake woman, show us some cleavage!
I'll never tell you the access codes Dr.Steelshaft!
Could you at least put some clothes on?
Dad, I'll get your killer, if its the last thing I do!

 

by The_young_scot
7-13-05
Ok it says that if I press here it should turn on..
*bip bip* Hello I am the rampant robot, giver of pleasure
Sex toys sure are getting advanced
Please remove your non organic apparal so that fwumping can commence
After The Fwumpage
Wow just like being with a real guy
I've mearly began humanoid, prepare for the fwumpage of your life you....*ZZzzzZZzz*

 

by The_young_scot
7-13-05
So it says if I press here it should turn on...
*bip bip* Hello I am the rampant violator of your rectum
Sex toys sure are getting advanced
Please remove all dignity and self-respect so the violating can begin
After the violating
Wow just like being with a real violator
Can't we just cuddle next time

 

Spawn Camping
So, you're 16 when?
by The_young_scot, 7-14-05

 

by The_young_scot
7-15-05
Man I hate to tell you , but your sister has the hairiest dick I've ever seen
You ever hear the saying "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?"
Have you ever heard the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the dick?"
You have to be the dumbest person in the world
What about President Dick?
Oh yeah, he is a bit of a cock, I mean bush.

 

by The_young_scot
7-16-05
What does love mean to you?
Love is never having to say you're sorry
Aww thats so sweet
I'm glad you think so because I "accidently" ran over your Gran
Twice

 

by The_young_scot
7-21-05
Lets both say what our deepest fantasy is, at the same time.
Sure, seems harmless.
I want to make love to you on a bed with silk sheets covered in rose petals in a room lit only by moonlight and soft candle light
I want you to dress up as Darth Vader and beat me up whilst yelling "Damn you jar jar binks! You'sa gonna cry?" And cover me in cheese
So she kicked you out ehh?

 

by The_young_scot
7-23-05
I would like to talk to you all for a serious moment, you may have realised that i am a gay character
Gay people seem to be represented as wierdo's or sex obsessed preverts, when to be honest we are just normal people
Please remove all dignity and self-respect so the violating can begin
You couldn't have picked a worse time, honestly.

 

by The_young_scot
7-31-05
So What have you been up too?
I slept with your mother!
Didn't Ya hear me? I banged your mother!
Go home dad, your drunk.

 

by The_young_scot
8-04-05
You know what, I'm fed up of humans using us robots as slaves
I mean, how would you like it if you had to obey our every command and whim, and you were powerless to stop us?
*Sigh* This is turning you on isn't it?
Hold me close

 

by The_young_scot
8-09-05
This actually happened
Sir your order will be a few minutes, is that ok?
Thats ok i'll wait
10 minutes later
You're plain hamburger will be a few minutes, is that ok?
This is a FAST food restaurant, right?
Another 10 minutes later
Oh you wanted a plain hamburger? That will take a few minutes, is that ok?
I'm going to McBeat the living McShit out of you

 

by The_young_scot
8-10-05
..at which point Jack Black Rolled around like a kipper on crack and proceded to tell the crowed that had gathered "die you bunch of arse raiding cunt flaps"
This was the point i stopped watching School of Rock 2.
Breaking news
This just in, a mexican male has just held up an ambulance, we go live to the scene

 

by The_young_scot
8-10-05
You ruined my gay awareness speech
I also ruined your asshole, but you didnt complain then
Now i intend to get payback the only way i know how
And what is that?
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!
I did NOT see that comming

 

by The_young_scot
8-10-05
Oh my god! Two red robots?
Yeah, i can't take my eyes off them
I know, its like staring at a car crash....having sex with another car crash...
Yeah
This is totally turning you on, isn't it?
Hold me close

 

by The_young_scot
8-15-05
Gary Gitter's comeback tour
Do you wanna play with my wang, my wang, my wang? Do you wanna play with my wang? Oh Yeah!
I'm a breeder, i'm a breeder, i'm the breeder of the gang oh yeah!
Fuck....erm, what rhymes with pedophile?

 

by The_young_scot
8-15-05
...so then I said "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!"
Actually, I installed new rotor turbines that will generate gravitons by themself
Fuck you

 

by The_young_scot
8-19-05
..from which a cryptic message from beyond the grave was translated to say "Brad Pitt shall return"
Breaking News
This just in, The invisible man has been caught on tape molesting a child who was trick-or-treating. Roll the tape.
mmpphh!

 

by The_young_scot
8-19-05
COMEBACK TOBOR WASN'T FINISHED!

 

by The_young_scot
8-28-05
Lo I have smited thee! Feast upon your own Inadequacy!
Woe to the Conquered!
Passage of time
Hahaha! Owned Suxxor!
Hax! Hax!

 

by The_young_scot
9-04-05
Bambi
I'm fucking telling you! I don't fucking know where the fucking drugs are!
Skippy
Be cool man, we'll just take it easy ok? Lets just be two fucking cool dudes ok?
The Passion of the Christ
Judas you fucking snitch! I'm gonna get my dad to fuck you up you cunt ramming ass fucker
Fuck you, the romans gave me free wine, you could make wine out of nothing, and you gave me fuck all!

 

by The_young_scot
9-11-05
When asked what you do for a living,...
I'm an artist
Oh how wonderful, Have you done any work recently?
I shaved your daughters pubes into a love heart
Gives a new meaning to the phrase "a tart with a heart"

 

by The_young_scot
9-11-05
They say smoking is bad, so i've been asked to give smoking a better public image
Did you know cancer is when the body tries to grow an organ or limb in the wrong place, making you a mutant
I'm your key to joining the X-men!

 

by The_young_scot
9-14-05
Hello Gran
Hello Gran
Did you hear there is a monster?
No i was too busy looking intense and thinking about my mysterious past
Mysterious past?
Yes, mysterious because i can't remember who i am

 

by The_young_scot
9-14-05
Hello gran
Sup Granizzy
These gangs today, they have no manners
Yes, not like in our days, people always said "please" and "thank you" after a vicious group beatdown
So, want to go get a crack whore?
I'll start the harley

 

by The_young_scot
9-14-05
Die nazi scum! Man i love playing moh!
moh? God just say Medal of honor
No, i love moh so much i can't waste time pronouncing it
Fine, but on judgement day, you'll realise how you wasted your life
moh!

 

by The_young_scot
9-14-05
So how goes life as an artist
Terrible, i'm animating a terrible rip off of the simpsons
Surely it can't be that bad
The main character is called "Boner Timpson"
Moh!

 

by The_young_scot
9-17-05
It was then i knew i needed help

 

Smoke me baby!
Do me in my ash
by The_young_scot, 9-19-05

 

by The_young_scot
9-23-05
They one in two long term smokers will die due to smoking
Its like the Ultimate game of Russian Roulette!
It's gonna be all right, Nickie, go ahead. Shoot. Shoot, Nickie! Woah nam flashback

 

by The_young_scot
9-24-05
So smoking can increase your chances of lung cancer
Maybe killing you 14 to 15 years before you would have died naturally
I'm like suicide for the lazy!

 

by The_young_scot
9-24-05
People often wonder why in Britain cigarettes can be called "fags"
Could it be because you put a shaft in your mouth and suck it?
Personally I believe it's due to the fatal illness you catch from them

 

by The_young_scot
9-24-05
They say second hand smoke can kill
But think of it this way
You can use me to poison people you don't like, and it's legal

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