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| Good news. We managed to sell all the shrapnel jerky. | |
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| Bad News. A helicopter full of B-list celebrities brought water to the african masses. | |
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| The jerky expanded too quickly for the tiny, frail african stomachs to hold. Almost everyone in Africa has exploded in a mass of shrapnel and guts. | |
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| Ah. Well, they probably deserve it. The barbarians were eating dead baby! | |
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