All comics by Toilethead

Profile

 

by Toilethead
9-07-06
dude...
I wish someone would ring me...
fuckin' geek...

 

by Toilethead
9-07-06
hey Toilethead...
sigh...hello Afrohead
I see you're still living in the school toilets...too scared to come out in case the jocks beat your nerdy ass up, huh?
...sigh...yes...
...yeah...well, good luck, man. see ya around...
asshole

 

by Toilethead
9-07-06
hello Josh
hya Toilethead!
can you just get it over with and stick my head down one of the toilets and repeatedly flush it until I have shit coming out of my ears, like you always do?

 

by Toilethead
9-07-06
Good Lord--choke! a girl!!!
hi...
hi, Toilethead...
I've never really talked to agirl before...it's weird. I can sense a strange and intimate connection between us...like our souls were meant to be...will...will you be my girl?
you can't be serious.

 

by Toilethead
9-07-06
excuse me...are you shady al? the inadvertantly obvious-to-the-eye trigger happy killer and spy?
no

 

by Toilethead
9-07-06
okay man...it's time we settled this once and for all...the fighting has gone on long enough and the entire earth's population has been wiped out...it's just you and me now, man...one on one...
...indeed...
so it's agreed...you started it.
hell no.

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
yyyyyesssss....hello...welcome to my humble...err...yesss....
dude...what the smudgebucket are you jabbering about, man?
yyyyyesssss....would you like something to...err...yesssss?
dude...I can't dig what you're like...saying!
yyyyyesssss....needles are bad....yesssss....
futue ipsum, man...

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
dad...if you're listening...I just want you to know...that you're a fucking asshole.

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
hya Toilethead!
sigh...hya television...
say, would you like to see an endless stream of nonsensicle jabbering advertisments that are shamlessly plugging horrible products that nobody would ever want?
er...not really...
well fuck you, ya geeky bastard!
sigh...

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
Hello everyone...I'm the president of the united states. I've come here today to talk to you about truth, freedom and justice...
why are you all laughing?

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
dirty Fudge attends a nevrotics united councelling session...
dude...i'm glad I could come here, cos my life totally sucks. i'm sacred of the dark, I'm scared of my own shadow, I'm nervous around chihuahuas, i'm terryfied of losing my virginity in an elevator...
mmm...yes, go on...
one hour later...
...fruit or vegetables because of my skin condition, I'm scared of dogs and cats and girls and police officers with facial hair, I can't answer the phone unless it's a tuesday...
mmm...interesting...
two hours later
every time I break wind, I think the world is gonna end, I'm scared of girl scouts, I can't have a bath for longer than twelve minutes, sometimes I go temporarily blind after seeing my own penis...
mmm...yes...

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
dude...my life sucks...
you think YOU've got it bad?

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
hey Edwin...I'm like, totally breaking up with you...it's just that you're sooo, like moody and depressing, you know? every time we talk, you like, tell me how much your life sucks...
whatever...
I hope you're like, okay with it, yeah?
whatever...
bitch

 

by Toilethead
9-08-06
Edwin Emo...you're time has come...
whoah, dude! you're like, the grim reaper!
yes...it is I...and it is time for you to come with me...into the next life...
are you, like, taking me to a freaked out euphoric party where I get to like totally have sex with seven bitches all day long, are ya?
no, you're thinking Islam. I'm a christian.
well then fuck you, grim dude!

 

by Toilethead
9-30-06
guess what...i'm back. I bet you all thought i was dead or something huh?
believe me I tried...
...what have I got to live for anyway? i mean come on...
I'm utterly alone, everyone hates me, i'm lazy, stupid, a chronic masturbator and I find dogs sexually attractive. I should just go out now and kill myself...
hey...is that a poodle?

 

by Toilethead
12-05-06
dear mister Dirty Fudge. we recently recieved the article you sent to us last week.
we found it very detailed but we assure you that we are not a pornographic magazine.
we are not interested in 'human dildo production' and are not looking for someone to 'lay it on us good and creamy'.
we are very sorry if you misunderstood the orientation of our magazine, and hope that everything has been cleared up for you.
yours, editor of the minature locomotive appreaciation club magazine.

 

by Toilethead
12-05-06
why hello there. welcome to the house of god my child. do you have anything to confess?
I got lost. I'm an atheist and I think your whole religion is a pack of lies and total bullshit.
I'm afraid i'm going to have to burn you.

 

by Toilethead
12-06-06
knock knock!
I am the evil baconman! I have come for your soul, puny mortal!!!
are you a jehovah's witness?
yes.

 

by Toilethead
1-07-07
mmm...aah yes.
thought.
how nice it is to have some time to myself, just for a long relaxing thought...a deep and meaningful pause during which I can contemplate the many wonders and mysteries of the universe...
yep...

 

by Toilethead
1-07-07
now that that big old atomic war has ended and we're out of the shelter we can, like, you know, repopulate the earth...
yeah, I suppose so.
so... nice weather isn't it?
what?

 

by Toilethead
1-07-07
I'm sorry...I just read somewhere that foreplay is vitally important before having sex...
I hardly think it's needed now, do you? I mean come on...it's just you and me left...
okay I'll close my eye while you get undressed...

 

by Toilethead
3-26-07
Hey! cousin Toilethead! you're soooo cool you have glasses I like glasses do you like school? I love math but i'm not good at it I suck hey perhaps you could help me with it will you be my fwiend?!

 

by Toilethead
3-26-07
OKay, here we are live with our gretest All-American superhero, Stars and Stripes-Man! Mr. Stripes, it's a pleasure to be able to talk to a hero of your calibre!
It's great to be here Bob.
Today's american public would like to hear your policy on the war in Iraq and wether you have any comments on the current situation between America and the Muslim population.
er...nuke the bastards?

 

by Toilethead
3-26-07
Stars and Stripes-Man, you are often critisized for basing your superhero activities mainly in America and neglecting the far needier thrid world countries.
That's not true at all, Bob. I see it as my duty not just as an american hero, but as a human being, to help those in need in still developing countries such as Africa and India.
So are you going to Africa?
oh god no! I've heard there's loads of niggers in Africa.

 

by Toilethead
3-27-07
Whoah, Toilethead what happened to you?
hi Kevin...I slipped on in a puddle in cubicle four and I broke my leg.
dude. but how did you get the wheelchair? I thought you never left the toilets!
Oh this? I just stole it from the one-legged kid.
Stumpy?
yeah...for a guy who can't take a piss without getting down on his elbows he sure knows how to kick ass.

 

by Toilethead
3-27-07
quack quack quack quack quack quack...
ducks!!
quack quack quack quack quack quack...
okay...now what the fuck is going on here?

 

by Toilethead
3-27-07
Okay cigarette dude...easy now...
I'm gonna fucking kill you!!! ha ha ha you'll burn, baby ha ha haaaaa!!!!
aaaaaargh!!!!
phew...good job this hose is fulla kerosene. that could've been nasty!

 

by Toilethead
3-27-07
Stars and Stripes Man, some people have described President Bush as a fascist warmonger. what is your view?
Now, Bob, George is a great guy and I don't care what anybody says about him. Every single decision he has made has been a good one.
I'm sure many people would dissagree with--
shut the fuck up you commie bastard!

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