All comics by Toolbox

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by Toolbox
5-21-03
Chicken wolf moose pig demon approaches the masturbating robot....
You've got a little pee-pee
My balls itch!
Suddenly, the chicken wolf moose pig demon morphs into an elephant!
I need a peni--- I mean peanut!
Where's the WD-40 when you need it????!!!
When stupid Red robot is almost ready to destroy himself, he suddenly has a vision from the dorky paperclip god and finds his purpose....
Next time you should use Microsoft Turd so I can annoy you
Eureka! Digital cameras were originally invented to be used as anal sex toys! No wonder they all suck goat balls!

 

by Toolbox
5-21-03
The first encounter of two aliens on a new planet leads to the start of a beautiful new friendship...
It cold, UHffmm Guhf. Me whoop you stoopid ass, dumb alien guy...Yeah. Guhuf.
Eat cow poop you stupid squidmouth caveman bastard, someone should violently beat you to death with a rubber chicken and bury you with an inflatable sheep.
As the conversation intensifies, their bond becomes even closer...
UGh!? Guhuf? Me pwetty?!
You still look like a stupid idiot gorilla dumbass. That tie just makes you look like even more of a loser. You should get a job as a construction worker, they all have single digit IQ's like you.
Perhaps someday their species will unite and breed a new superspecies that will have a greater wisdom than what was ever known to the galaxy before?
UNghhuff?! Me pound nail in your pee-pee!
Now you've got the right idea, go breed with farm animals like all of your primative redneck kinfolk, you slack jaw. Better hurry, the chicken fried steaks are almost done, then you can go bang sheep

 

by Toolbox
5-21-03
Brit meets a depantsed italian... Intent: borrow money for a beer. Result: Brit craps himself, Italian gets no blowjob. No transaction as intended.
Croiky! I otta choke a bloody chicken with moy li-ele pal Bert, he's a fiesty little bugger of a bloke, but - Jiminy Crickets! I just crapped myself!
You hand-a me a beer-a, and then-a my pants-a-fall off-a! Take-a the pizza-pie-a and ram it up your ass-a! First-a taste-a my secret sauce-a!
Stoner meets evil demon squirrel from hell. Intent: Score a bag of weed. Result: Squirrel scores a bag of nuts, one less stoner can reproduce(this is not necessarily a bad thing).
Whoa, the little furry dude's gonna like... Chop me up n' stuff... Huhu, I said furry.
EEEEEE--HEHEHHE!!! I'm going to eat you!
And of course, the ultimate conversation. King Dork talks to a pumpkin. Intent: the pumpkin wants to die. Result: The pumpkin lives - WOULD SOMEONE SHUT THIS IDIOT UP!!!!!!!
One time, I had 13 peanuts shoved up my nose... Then someone made me laugh and they got stuck. Wanna play laser tag? I fed an elephant ex-lax. C.H.I.P.S. is the best show ever. Fred Savage rocks.
Just squash me out of my miserable existance and get it over with you god damn dweeb...

 

by Toolbox
5-22-03
RESISTANCE
...Tonight on "People who look like Ronald McDonald after he fell in a puddle of radioactive waste with a dogfish and some random eyeballs..."
Oh Yay! Something interesting to watch!
IS
"The Republican Party has decided that anyone who looks like a mutation of Ronald McDonald after he fell in a puddle of radioactive waste with a dogfish and some random eyeballs is no longer...."
Oooh, maybe I'll be able to get more unemployment benefits since they @#$%ed over our job opportunities...
FUTILE
"...Allowed to breathe air in our country and shall be instantly squashed into a little pile of red goo with the nearest available blunt object..."
Wait! Wait! I'll work at Taco Bell - Anything! I'm from Florida! I voted for Bush! Really!!!

 

by Toolbox
5-26-03
A new technology has been developed, to see 100 years into the future of mankind, to analyze our potential progression...
You should wash your ass, you smell like a snapping turtle that ate white castle...
Gawt any dang ol' pork rinds for ma, so-bitch? Sheesh! I doo smayal a bit like a damn hog slurry!
Something's not quite right...(Unless you think its normal for a Pigdonkey to be smarter than a person)
Where did all of the smart humans go?
Uh-huh? Thar's a damn peanut in my ear... D'ya thank it'll come out if I put another one in there?
Mental Note: Encourage more smart people to reproduce.
It's a good thing that SHC stayed in the Gene pool...
FART

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