All comics by UmMe

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by UmMe
7-13-03
Dave decided I should make a comic, and since I am a slave to his will, it must be done.
Nerf. What the hell? Why not.
Brooke, we've all made comics. You should too. They're ubereasy. *insert random convincing words*
First came the picking of a name and as you can see I'm none too original. So I spaced out.
Damnit WHY am I doing this?
Because you have no life. Now think of a name.
And then came the fact that I needed something to make a comic about...
Make it about you.
Nyeh why not... oh yeah... because I'm boring as hell. Although Hell is probably at least entertaining.

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
If you're reading this comic then you probably came from MoL meaning you've probably read Blake's comic which has me talking about going out with an asshole... here's the story.
Hi Owen!
Hi Brooke! I should probably tell you I've been cheating on you with a guy!
Not exactly what you want to hear after not hearing from your long-distance boyfriend for nearly a month.
You've been WHAT?!
I didn't want to. He blackmailed me. *blah blah blah blah*
Well see I was rather stupid so I believed him. Three months later, after him not talking for a month: (he belongs in this graveyard.)
Hey! Where have you been?
Around. And that's all the answer you need unless you want to hear about the two other men I cheated on you with while I was gone.

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
And then I dumped his ass.
Never talk to me again... EVER!
You're DUMPING ME?!?! *translation: Look at me, I'm a complete idiot and expected you to stay with me!*
None of my friends liked him, in fact most of them hated him.
Hey Blake... I dumped Owen.
Hooray!! I mean...uh...that's too bad *hug*
And that's the tale of Brooke dating the asshole.
I can't wait to kill you when you come to visit Vick.
I knew you would come to your senses and talk to me again! I won't take you back though, I wouldn't dream of cheating on Jack.

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
Distraction number 1:My stupid dog. It runs around and jumps on me 24/7 as though it thinks I actually like it. Fool.
damned dog...
Please for the love of god pay attention to me!!!
This is Vick. She'll probably kill me for making her look like that but here are the reasons 1: She's Spanish, therefore tan and 2: Even though she's older than I am, she looks 9. Beware: Inside jokes
Hey wanna do something? I don't think you could handle not hanging out with me all by your lonesome.
Sure, let's go to the mall, Hooray for Zoidberg! I'm making plans!
And my computer, my link to the outside world. My parents think I need a life, but I have a perfectly normal life online.
hey wait...
that's better. For that I shall commit suicide to spite Brooke.

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
Perhaps I should explain the last panel of my previous comic.
This. Is Jesus. He represents salvation.
What if I was one of you? Just a slob like one of you? Just a stranger among you, trying to make my way home? I'd kill myself, that's what. Unless I were Catholic, then I would go to hell for that...
This is my computer. It represents my link to the outside world and salvation, while at the same time wishing to bring about my mental downfall.
I think I'll freeze now for no apparent reason.
The puter, the puter, the puter's on fire. We don't need no water let the mother fucker burn, burn mother fucker, burn.
Fool, you can't talk to anyone now!! Bwahaha

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
damnit..the robot has a point...
oh my God... the computer's right... I can't have a life now...
That's right silly hu-man! You hu-mans depend on us for a life!!!
Ah, creation.
Ah, but through the magic of comic creation I can get a new computer! Like this.
I am going to be twice as annoying than your last computer.
I spend my weeknights talking to Blake about the eppisode of Futurama or Family Guy we are both watching.
Ah, sweet distraction.
Blake: LOL! *insert random comment on the eppisode*

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
So these are the two people I talk to most online, Blake, and Dave. Blake has no definate form.
It's true, in fact, every time you see me I'll be a different character.
Yes... I'm Dave... OMGWTFLOL!!11billion! *S3><><0RZ J00R FACE*
These are Steph and Vick, pretty much the only girls I can stand to be around for long periods of time.
I can kick your ass!! If you stand still for for an hour and let me beat you over the head with a hammer...
I'm going to kill Brooke for making me look like this.
And here we have Owen and Brad Pitt. Yes, I don't know Brad Pitt, but I needed a filler.
Guess who's back, back again, Owen's back, tell some men...
Look at me! Look at me!!

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
Ah my means of transportation from school. Every day this girl that is aaaalways wearing a basketball jersey goes and tells the bus driver that I am not supposed to be on the bus.
If I wish really hard, maybe I'll be home. What a fool I ride this bus every damned day...
Hey! Do you ride our bus? You don't ride our bus! I've seen you every day this year but you shouldn't be on this bus!!
These are Blake and Shawn, when school is in I alternate between sitting with them.
Hey! I have a different character again!
I'm depressed. I'll hug Brooke now.... or just bite her neck. Shiggity Shiggity shwaa.
Nikki and Ringer. Nikki's greeeeeeeeeat. Ringer....is odd. A good thing about him though is his love of Faygo, the best pop in the world. Yes. Pop.
Free love and hippy frogs.
ICP!!! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah FAYGO!!!

 

by UmMe
7-13-03
Blake made a comic strip about me at the mall that was...interesting to say the least. And Dave made me a small child, so here is my joking revenge.
I am Jack's smirking revenge.
Okay so I suck at vengance.
...
I'm gonna sex you like you're last night's dead hooker!!! BWAHAHAHA
I just can't stay mad at the two of them. Yes yes, I love you guys.
I'm a little girl. Yeah. That's it....
Brooke, you suck. You really, really suck. This was the worst comic yet.

 

by UmMe
7-14-03
Driver's Hell... I mean... Ed. My only escape is drawing and not paying attention. Fear me when I drive.
*strong hick accent* Signal to the left, check your blind spot to the left, check your mirrors, check the traffic *blah blah blah anecdote from hell noone cares what I'm saying*
Kill me.. Kill me now...
Comics. Not these, actual comics that I draw. Vick writes the scripts for me, but every week we decide something about the comic sucks and start something else. It's annoying.
Vick.. I need the script! The deadline for the contest is September 1st and we haven't even started the 15 pages yet!!
I've been thinking.... This comic kind of sucks we should throw out all of your character designs and the few pages you've already drawn. We should wait for next year's competition so we can be better
And my job. It's new. So new that I got it at midnight last night. Vick writes scripts and I draw religious comics for a coalition of churches... fifty bucks each for 8-11 scenes. Not bad. Not at all
Weehee I get to have something good on my resume!!
$$$$$MONEY!!!$$$$$$$

 

by UmMe
7-14-03
Sometimes at around 2:30 in the afternoon I get hungry for some breakfast.
Mmm hunger. I'm gonna go get some food, brb
Random person: Sure, yeah, whatever (Translation: Um am I supposed to care?)
So I go to the kitchen and raid it.
D'oh! We're out of rice, tomatoes, bread, and any other bit of normal food, I'm too lazy to make macaroni and cheese......BING-O!
Obviously they've not been to my house for breakfast.
And I'm back *munch munch* I was out of normal food so I sauteed some mushrooms.
Everyone: Ew! That's the most disgusting breakfast I've ever heard of!!

 

by UmMe
7-14-03
I have a confession to make
When I introduced myself to...everyone... I said I looked like this kinda.
I lied, I actually look like this.
Nipple rings.... ooh yeah.
Sorry, Dave....

 

by UmMe
7-15-03
The following are true events.
Hey! So I went to AC Moore and they're having these painting classes as taught by the pupil of Afro Dude. Bob...something so I'm signing up
Cool. What's painting?
It's when you take paint... and a brush... and canvas... and you put pictures on it.
oh...
I thought you meant ....something else....yeah...
Sure you didn't.

 

by UmMe
7-15-03
So yesterday Brian, Zach, Vick and I planned to go see LXG today.
Okay so my mom can take us.
(I'm Brian) Take us where?
The....movie...
(I'm Zach) That was today? I didn't know that...
So we decided to not go today when Brian piped up and said
Yes... we planned it for today...
oh... so can I get a ride?

 

by UmMe
7-15-03
I have no life so I lie in wait for friends to get online to talk.
Hi Dave!!
OMG LOL RAFFLE MY WAFFLE!
REALLY?!?!? OMGWQTF!?111
Do you even know what raffle my waffle means?
Note he's rolling his eyes...yeeees...
Um..well...not a clue.
...

 

by UmMe
7-19-03
I had the Driver's Ed test the other day. Three hours to take it.
Oh ...God... this test is so...easy....and... BORING
*freak out freak out freak out* must get a perfect grade!!
I finished within fifteen minutes. I had to sit outside for half an hour before anyone else finished. Good thing I brought Sophie's World.
Done! Now to go outside and wait for my friends to finish!
*freaks out some more* Brooke's done! She's gonna get a better grade than me! NOO! I just used incorrect grammar!! I should have said "Than I"!! I'm gonna faaaail!!!
Vick, as always, was paranoid as hell, but at least it was some company. We watched an earthworm freak out as it died, trapped on the cement, Several people joined us over the next two hours.
Hey! You finally finished! Let's compare answers now.
Sure... *arms start shaking* Oh God I failed I know I did!

 

by UmMe
7-19-03
So finally after watching the worm die with Samantha, Vick, Zach, Brian, and Rick present, we got called back in to grade our tests.
Thank God... I want to get out of here!
Oh for Christ's sake! Ima kill myself if I didn't get a perfect score!!!
And she really did try. Her only obstacle was that the sharpest thing she had was a pen so it just left a black mark on her wrist.
Someone missed four questions already because they forgot to do the Essay. Who's Adelle? .......Adelle?
*five minutes later* that...that'd be me *attempts to kill self with a pen*
Halfway through the grading process Ms. Shelton's cell phone rang and her daughter was SCREAMING through the phone. You could hear her from the back of the classroom.
OH MY GOD!! My grandson nearly cut off his fingers!! I have to go!! Let's finish grading these then I'll leave you with that other dude!!!! I'm in a hurry!!!!!

 

by UmMe
7-19-03
So for the next half hour everyone was trying to find out who graded their paper and thenceforth their grade.
YES! I PASSED!! Erm... no... I graded Sam's..sorry.
Hey! Are you Brooke Haidinger? You got a 91. Did you have my paper? Huh? Huh? Huh?!
Even though the teacher TOLD us that everyone passed except for two people that she later talked to, Vick was freaking out and shaking like crazy. She really could have used some caffiene, but no.
OH MY GOD I FAIIIIIIILED!!!
Dude. Chill. The teacher held back those two people that failed.
So I told my neighbors...and they freaked out. I left out the part where it would be about nine months till I get my permit...
I'm going to be driving soon... MWAHAHAHA
OH GOD NO!!!

 

by UmMe
7-23-03
My English teacher from 8th grade... reminds me a bit of Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller's Day Off...
Good...God... I'm...bored....
What literary element is used in The Necklace. Anyone? Anyone?
Of course I could have answered her, but I didn't feel like it.
For the love of everything holy somone answer her!!
Anyone at all? Which is it?
And thus sprung forth an inside joke. Whenever I speak of literary elements "y'all" follows soon after.
Why...me...?
It's Irony, y'all!

 

by UmMe
7-23-03
Steph and I went to the mall...yes...I changed her character because I'm too lazy to find the other one.
I need to get some clothes for school...
I shall now make it entirely my business to pick out your clothing. Come, let us go into DEB.
So I found this awesome pinstriped dress that had a suit collar..it was great.
Ooh this is great! I'm gonna go try it on!
Sure, but first, try on these five shirts!
So I went into the dressing room and tried them on, the dress last. (I promise, this is funny when I finish it)
Steph! They won't let me wear half of these in school!
Yeah, I know, but we are searching for school clothes so I had to pick out a few conservative shirts.

 

by UmMe
7-23-03
So then I STARTED to try on that dress.
Hmm I wonder why the rest of the store got so quiet...
I got it halfway on when I heard Steph
Hope this doesn't look too slutty.....
Brooke! Come on! Hurry up and get out of there! The fire alarm is going off.
So after I changed back into my clothes and we finally got outside we saw the firemen just sort of standing around.
Goddam fools... Ya know, someone could steal so easily during a fire alarm...of course, they would have to be subtle due to the cameras....
It's just some kid that pulled the alarm.

 

by UmMe
7-23-03
Then we walked back into the mall when, low and behold, Steph's cell rang.
Yes, oh fashion Goddess.
Hey, your dad's here... let's hurry and get those clothes, oh, and when you try on that dress let me approve it.
We get back to the store in an obvious rush and, of course, the dressing room I was in is locked.
Hey, can you unlock that dressing room for me?
Yeah gimme a minute I'm on the phone.
Five minutes later...
Ugh...this dress, the source of my problems for today...it's...it's hideous!!
You're damned right it's hideous! Go change and pay for your stuff, your dad's waiting.

 

by UmMe
7-24-03
Allow me to introduce Eddie. If I've used this character before then..well...whoops. He lives in NJ and is eighteen. Yup.
Hey Brooke! Will you go out with me?
Um....no?
He doesn't actually want me so much as a member of the opposite sex.
Pleaaaaaase??
Nope.
But I haven't had a boyfriend in a while and he was getting annoying so I agreed.
WOOHOO!!
Meh. Sure why the hell not?

 

by UmMe
7-26-03
Vick calls...
Sure. I've been at the mall for at least fourteen hours total this week alone but sure.
Come on let's go to the mall I wanna go to the mall and my family is going somewhere so they can take us!
Half an hour passes and Vick is nowhere to be seen so I call her.
And you are where exactly?
Home... we'll be there soon, don't worry.
And now it's an hour after she said she could pick me up.
I love how we make plans....

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