Cold in the Ass by Uncle_Aussie6-16-01 If you were totally out of toilet paper, would you use a tissue you'd blown your nose on? Yes. Yes I would. Wouldn't you be afraid you'd catch a cold in the ass? GOLLY! I never thought of that! What if your ass caught a cold and sneezed? Coughing out your butt would be VERY bad... Even the sniffles would be REALLY unpleasant.
The Ideal by Uncle_Aussie6-16-01 You know what kinda toilet paper I REALLY want? mmm... No. What kind? I want the kind that says in the commercial, "I'll make you cheerier, with a gentle touch on your posterior!" YEAH! It has a lilting English accent! It's nice to think of toilet paper that WANTS to wipe your ass. It's really very comforting.
MicroNag 2000 by Uncle_Aussie6-17-01 I wanted to buy a Robot, but I didn't have any credit. Life is Hard. Life is Serious. The salesman said, "Well, we can finance you, but only for the MicroNag 2000" A man has to live up to his RESPONSIBILITIES. I think I know why ... You don't want to be a DEADBEAT all your life DO YOU?
