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| Tonight on Eyewitness News: All of the world's leaders are killed, nuclear war breaks out in the Middle East, a black hole is headed toward Earth... | |
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| ...and tonight's top story: Our local football team loses 24-7. For in-depth, 25 minute analysis, here are some half-drunk ex-high school coaches... | |
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| ... I think they shoulda run a flea-flicker on 4th and 3... | |
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