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The following is entirely true, except for the parts I made up. I was born in Zurich, Switzerland in 1947 to a blonde ski instructor named Abigail.
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| Ya, I think I just gave birth. | |
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Nobody knew who my father was, but speculation pointed to the decaying corpse of Oscar Wilde.
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| I say, Oscar, tell me another one. | |
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| I said, "Either the wallpaper goes or my left foot does." | |
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I was quickly secreted away by the CIA, who trained me from a young age in the art of industrial espionage.
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| So I infiltrate the ranks of Skinny Puppy, and... | |
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| For the last time, wrong definition of "industrial," putz. | |
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