Unknown Eric's Autobiography Part One

Author: UnknownEric

Date: July 26, 2004

by UnknownEric
7-26-04
The following is entirely true, except for the parts I made up. I was born in Zurich, Switzerland in 1947 to a blonde ski instructor named Abigail.
Ya, I think I just gave birth.
Nobody knew who my father was, but speculation pointed to the decaying corpse of Oscar Wilde.
I say, Oscar, tell me another one.
I said, "Either the wallpaper goes or my left foot does."
I was quickly secreted away by the CIA, who trained me from a young age in the art of industrial espionage.
So I infiltrate the ranks of Skinny Puppy, and...
For the last time, wrong definition of "industrial," putz.