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| Hi, I'm Bill O'Rly and welcome to the O'RLY Factor. Tonight I'm going to talk about the War on Christmas. | |
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| After all, we all know that spending ridiculous gads of money on pointless things that have nothing to do with the birth of Jesus is pointless unless the checkout lady wishes you a Merry Christmas. | |
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| By the way, Santa, if you're watching this, I still want two whores under the tree. | |
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