All comics by Wix

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by Wix
10-21-03
I'm going to borrow all of your Eva tapes. Where are they?
My mystical cupboard, known as the Chamber of Secrets.
You did get rid of all those anthrax spores, didn't you?
If by 'get rid of' you mean 'cultivate', then yes. Yes I did.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
Where are you going?
Hammer things.
Don't do anything...
...stupid.
Too late.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
You know, like, I'm in a dustbin?
Yeah.
Well, what does it MEAN?
It means you're an idiot.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
I thought I told you to stop drawing on the walls.
Sorry.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
You know, last night, I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...
...and when I woke up, the giant marshmallow I keep next to my bed had gone.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
..grill on high for twenty minutes...
I think I'm paranoid.
...serve with potatoes and carrots...
I keep thinking people want to eat me.
...maybe a nice bottle of wine...
Hey! Stop that!

 

by Wix
10-21-03
People think I'm lazy because I sit in a dustbin all day.
Yeah.
But, hey, this takes a lot of effort.
Can you get me a beer?
Well, that would require getting out the bin.
I see.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
Get in the box.
No.
Go on, it'll be fun.
Hell no.
I promise I won't turn you into a squirrel.
That's what you said last time.

 

by Wix
10-21-03
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation...
...conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
What's your point?
Get me a beer or I'll slap you.
Fair enough.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
You know, I'm thinking about becoming a male model.
Sounds expensive.
Well, you can imagine the costs on lotion alone.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
So remind me. Why are you in the bin?
It's a long story.
Make it short.
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/DC/184705
Too lazy for a hyperlink, eh?

 

by Wix
10-22-03
Are the bars to keep us out, or him in?
Probably.
And do you think he'd mind if I went to borrow a cup of sugar?
Sure, why not.
Wait... is that an alien mothership?
Hopefully.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
Some guy named Warren came looking for you earlier.
What did you tell him?
That I had brutally murdered you in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre styley.
...good.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
Doughnut?
Kill.
Rhododendron?
Kill.
You're one sick little rodent, you know that?
Yuppers.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
I'm going out. Don't do anything.
I wonder what the meaning of life is...
What did you DO?

 

by Wix
10-22-03
Warren! What are you doing here?
Well, quite clearly I've come to stab you.
Any particular reason?
Not especially, no.
Can you at least avoid the bin?
I make no promises.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
So... are you going to stab me now?
As soon as I can get my arm off of my head.
How'd that happen?
An incident with superglue. I don't want to talk about it.
That's kind of funny.
At least my legs aren't soldered into a dustbin.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
You off then?
I'm going to the Doctors. Stay right there, and I'll stab you when I get back.
So how was your afternoon?
I met a possum.

 

by Wix
10-22-03
...which means I'm 47th in line to the British throne.
Good for you.
Which reminds me - we're being evicted. Or something like that.
How do you not get more headaches?
Hypocrisy, not listening to people, salsa music, milkshakes...

 

by Wix
10-23-03
So where are we going to live now?
Well, there's always the alley behind the Gulp 'N' Go.
No... too sticky.
Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.
You could always share my bin, you know.
It didn't work before, and it won't work now.

 

by Wix
10-23-03
Fresh air? You know I hate fresh air.
Maybe it'll give you some colour.
Any minute now, some rabid dog will come over to relieve itself on my bin.
We wouldn't be here if you could pick an apartment.
Don't get on at me just because I have some morals.
It was only a suspected murderer's home! Those bloodstains could have been anyone's!

 

by Wix
10-23-03
Sitting around in a field all day, homeless and penniless...
Was this how you saw your life panning out?
Well, no. But I didn't see myself being soldered into a bin either.
That's my favourite part.

 

by Wix
10-23-03
So, according to The Matrix, humans are a virus that needs to be eliminated.
But we get to have giant underground raves to sub-standard techno music, right?
Oh yeah.
Doesn't seem right, somehow.
I know... it didn't make much sense to me either.

 

by Wix
10-23-03
Get a job. I need money for beer.
What kind of work do you think I'd get stuck in a dustbin?
Oh, I don't know... pharmaceutical supplies saleman, carpenter, vice president...
But I've flipped my lid.
Didn't stop Dick Cheney.

 

by Wix
10-23-03
You remember my Uncle Clyde, right?
Sure.
Well, he got all kinds of clobbered by men with shovels at the weekend. Terrible shame.
So what's the moral of this story?
Avoid men with shovels.

 

by Wix
10-24-03
We can't just sit here all day, you know. We'll be dead as soon as night falls.
Maybe you you should try looking for the positives in life.
What positives? We're a stick man and a squirrel in a field WITH NO HORIZON!
Well, at least we have our health.
I feel a cold coming on.

 

by Wix
10-27-03
You know, there's a petition to get that Star Wars Kid in Episode III.
That shows that no matter how humiliated you get on the internet, something good will come of it.
With the possible exception of this comic strip.
Oh yeah.

 

by Wix
11-04-03
Remember when we hooked up a belt sander to your fish tank?
Hours of fun!
Actually, half an hour of fun.

 

by Wix
11-27-03
It's not like I planned it.
Well, the police thought you did.
And biting them all probably didn't help.
I had my reasons.

 

by Wix
12-01-03
Wub wub wub.
I beg your pardon?
Wub wub wub.
I beg your pardon?
Wub wub wub.
I beg your pardon?

 

by Wix
9-17-04
Where have we been for the past year?
This field, mostly.
Have we had any adventures?
Well, a dog did urinate on you once.
And you didn't try to stop him?
This is the life we chose.

 

by Wix
9-17-04
I don't think we're in a field at all.
And what makes you think that?
The lack of horizon, mostly.
Now you mention it, this grass does feel a little false.
That's because it's a poorly drawn backdrop.

 

by Wix
9-20-04
Did you hear about Warren?
Not as such, no.
Kitchen accident. Terrible shame.
He going back to killing anytime soon?
Well, there's a limit to what you can do when there's a colander stuck through your head.
Getting glasses that fit, for one.

 

by Wix
9-21-04
Looking forward to the DS?
Gah! Speak not of the Devil's Plaything!
Not this again. I keep telling you, Nintendo aren't vampires!
Two screens! It's the work of the undead!
Don't you think you're over-reacting a little?
Screw this, and screw you. I'm going to get some garlic.

 

by Wix
6-08-06
It's been another two years since anyone has heard from us.
You suppose anyone's worried about us?
At this stage, I'm really more concerned with the contents of your bin.

 

by Wix
6-08-06
So what have you been doing for the last two years?
Oh, you know. Squirrelly things.
Define "squirrelly".
You know. Finding nuts. Burying nuts. That sort of deal.
So, petty larceny and hiding the evidence?
You've got nothing on me! Nothing!

 

by Wix
6-08-06
Go on, ask me what I've been up to.
I somehow doubt I'm going to like the response, but knock yourself out.
I've been trying to work out what's in special sauce.
And?
Well, it's definitely got some yellow in it.
You're definitely the smartest guy in that bin.

 

by Wix
12-11-06
What's up with you?
Every time a new console out, you make terrible puns. The anticipation is killing me.
How dare you. I've matured during my time in this bin, and frankly you've made me a sad panda.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
On the other hand, I hear Zelda is wii-lly good!
That's it. I'm out of here.

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