All comics by WoodenEdsel

Profile

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-12-04
So Uhh.....
Yeah?
Aren't you going to call the kettle black?

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-12-04
MOMMY!!!!
WE NEED TOO TALK!!!

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-12-04
OH MY GOD!! What are you doing with that?
N N NOTHING, Uhhh,,It's not what you think
Don't even try, I know what I saw
Busted
I Guess I won't be the first to explore Uranus afterall
Houston, we have a problem

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-12-04
Hi Grampa!
Quick, pull my carrot!
You're an Asshole Grampa!
That's for telling Grandma you saw me with a snowblower,... you little prick!

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-12-04
"I AM NOT AN ANIMAL, I AM A HUMAN BEING"
Now You're an ASSHOLE !!!

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-13-04
The sheriff takes a mighty dim view of strangers causin trouble in these parts
But ah swears ahm a tellin' ya the troooth, Depuhdee
Save it for the judge, Slackjaw
Look, why don'tcha just asker?
OK Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to tell me the truth, was he really just helpin you over the fence?

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-13-04
OK, are you ready? K-R-I-S-P-Y
uh huh, uh huh
K-R-E-M-E
Wait, spell that last part again
Look Dumbass, I really don't need your list, I'm pretty sure I can remember doughnuts!
Don't get lippy, punk

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-13-04
What do you call a deadhead that just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless
How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, They screw in dirty sleeping bags
How can you tell if a hippie stayed at your house?
He's still there

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-13-04
Tonight on HBO Jurrasic Park
Sweet!
Tonight on Late Night with David Letterman, Stupid Pet Tricks!
Sweet!
Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna Nicole, She's so outrageous
SWEET!

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-13-04
What the fuck Lardass? I thought your cardiologist told you not to eat that kind of shit!
It's OK every now and then, Ju
I guess your cardiologist said beer was "OK" too, huh Tubby?
Actually, I think he said it's good for me!.......UH OHH
Fat Bastard
JU !

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-13-04
What are you doing officer?
Writing this bum a ticket for being passed out in the street
He's NOT passed out Jackass, he just had a heart attack and we are waiting for the ambulance
Oh, I'm sorry,.... Well, tell you what I'll do, I'll just write him up for taking up two parking spots instead
Fat Bastard
Is he talkin about me or his buddy?

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-14-04
I think it's pretty cool that you're willing to give up your life to help my buddy
Well I guess thats what pigs are for
It's hard to believe that a team of surgeons will remove his heart, and replace it with yours
HEART ! They're not killing me for my heart, they're killing me because he wants bacon for breakfast
Fat Bastard
Stinky Hippie

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-14-04
I need to talk to you. If Hobe doesn't make it will he go to heaven?
I'm afraid not my son
Because he is a sinner?
Well that, plus the fact that we don't have a crane big enough to get him up there
Fat bastard
Amen

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-14-04
Holy Shit, a ghost !!
It's ME fucker ! I figured when they had me shut down to fix my pump, I'd turn into a ghost and fuck with you
What a prick! But how do I know it's really you?
I have pictured ID
Fat Bastard
Boo

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-14-04
That's NICE, Jeff
Do I look pretty cool, Ju?
Oh fuck yeah ! But where's the rest of you Tubby ?
Christ, it was hard enough getting my HEAD to float
Fat Bastard
I got head

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-15-04
Can you turn back into a ghost, Fatso?
I don't know, let me try
What the fuck is this?
You said turn into a Host
Fat Bastard
This way please, I have a table for you right next to the dumpster

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-15-04
So you're going to open up his chest and put in a pacemaker?
Not exactly, your buddy's so fat, we can't reach his heart though his chest
Then how will you install it?
Let me put it this way, I'm not a heart surgeon, I'm a proctologist
Fat Bastard
Gives new meaning to the term "elbow grease"

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-15-04
What's up, Bumper?
I'm trying to find my brother
He's not in the recovery room?
Nope, the nurse said he woke up and yelled "Mc Donalds stops serving breakfast in ten minutes" then ran off
Fat Bastard
I hope he gets ME something !

 

by WoodenEdsel
11-16-04
NEWS FLASH, She doesn't want anything to do with you !
I better call her
SO QUIT CALLING HER !
I Know, I'll take her some flowers !
You just don't get it ! Film at 11:00

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