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| Y'know Geoff, a lot of people ask me about what it's like being a new dad, and here's what I tell them: | |
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| I've been barfed on and peed on. I handle liquid poop with my bare hands. I speak the nuanced language of baby cries, and have grown nearly immune to their shrieking. | |
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| I have learned what a colorful place the world is on just 3 hours of sleep a night. I have discovered vast untapped wealth by never going out on weekends. | |
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| Yup, being a dad has many rewards. I definitely recommend the experience to everyo | |
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| Sir, I am a parking meter. You probably need medical attention. | |
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