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| I know I can't be there for your birthday darling, so I did the next best thing - I added you to Stone Cold Creamery's mailing list so you'll get free ice cream on your special day! | |
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| OK, one, I'm lactose intolerant, and two, I'm going to get spam for the rest of the year. Why did you think this would be a good birthday present? | |
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| I got the idea from my husband's stepbrother, while we were having sex with his sister. | |
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| OK, that is at least three pieces of information I would have liked before we started this whole "long distance" thing. | |
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| But you still love me, right? | |
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| WHEN IN THIS ENTIRE HOUR THAT WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER HAVE I EVER SAID I LOVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?! | |
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