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| Whoa, duuuuude. That was one hell of a cosmic kegger. Where the hell am I? | |
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| Omigod, omigod! Thank Krav'lakk someone finally landed here! Hey, can you help me out? I'm stranded on this planetoid and almost out of food and- | |
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| Star-Bro Log, Stardate Fucked-If-I-Know. My rampant VD finally caught up with me. My ballsack fell off and asked me for food. | |
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| Wait, no, there must be some confusion. I'm not your dangerously septic gonads, I'm a marooned star captain from the planet- | |
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| Star Log Addendum: my balls just called themselves a captain. Obviously compensating for being born disgusting. | |
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| Well, at least I won't be running out of food any time soon. | |
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