All comics by adriyan0

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by adriyan0
12-27-08
Lame Duck Questions...
Sir...What is your position on Global Warming?
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.
Is the economy in sever recession, Sir?
Saddam is bad man...
Do you plan to meet with the President-Elect?
Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.

 

by adriyan0
12-27-08
Destruction...
Is this my legacy?
Death...
Is this my legacy?
Damnation...
Is this my legacy?
Yes...Mr. President.

 

by adriyan0
12-27-08
...Meanwhile back in Wasilla...
Honey, we lost the election!
I told you so!
Come on...Pay up!
OK Damn it!
Oh Sarah...Don't be like that...
Just SHUT UP Todd!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Martha rescues the bird...
Squak...new house, new Madame...
The man from the pet store said Polly was raised in a Brothel...I just KNOW Jenny and Bob will Love her!
Jenny is delighted...
Squak...new house, new Madame, new Girls...
YAY! Mommy got us a pet bird!!!
Bob is BUSTED...
Squak...new house, new Madame, new Girls...Squak?....Hi Bob!!!
Uh Oh!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Sir, can you comment on FISA and spying on Americans?
When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.
Is your administration guilty of war crimes, Mr. President?
When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.
A conspiracy in the death of JFK has been proven Sir. Any comment?
When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Environment...
Is this my legacy?
Bin Ladens Crib...
Is this my legacy?
Uh Oh! It's the FUZZ! Umm, er...Allah is GREAT!
Education...
Is this my legacy?
NOOOO! Mr. President.

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Damnit Dick...Who should I pardon? Scooter Libby? Timothy McVay? Jim Jones? Dennis Rader? The Green River Killer?
No, no, no, no and Maybe...
No, no...None of those either! Come on George THINK MAN!
Charlie Manson? Those Columbine boys? Son of Sam? ZODIAC? Osama Bin Laden???
You're an IDIOT George and you're workin' my last nerve!
I know! I know! I'll pardon Keith Richards!!!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Damnit Dick...Who should I pardon? Scooter Libby? Timothy McVay? Jim Jones? Dennis Rader? The Green River Killer?
No, no, no, no and Maybe...
No, no...None of those either! Come on George THINK MAN!
Charlie Manson? Those Columbine boys? Son of Sam? ZODIAC? Osama Bin Laden???
You're an IDIOT George and you're workin' my last nerve!
I know! I know! I'll pardon Keith Richards!!!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Damnit Dick...Who should I pardon? Scooter Libby? Timothy McVay? Jim Jones? Dennis Rader? The Green River Killer?
No, no, no, no and Maybe...
No, no...None of those either! Come on George THINK MAN!
Charlie Manson? Those Columbine boys? Son of Sam? ZODIAC? Osama Bin Laden???
You're an IDIOT George and you're workin' my last nerve!
I know! I know! I'll pardon Keith Richards!!!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
...Asked...
Next question please...Yes...Peter go ahead.
Mrs. Perino...Can you tell us about The Cub...
...And Answered...
STOP RIGHT THERE! IF you, ANY of you, even whisper the words Cuban Missile Crisis...I'm going to rip your head off and piss down your NECK!
Damn! Was the REAL Press Secretary busy today?

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
You Ameerikans - Tink You so smart! vee Russians, vee wary smartest.
Oh Yeah?
You go to moon right...okay? Vell now vee Russians, vee go to SUN!
Ok Sure but it's pretty HOT up there ya know?
Zis okay, okay? Vee vill go at NIGHT!
George? Come on! Take off the Russian Spacesuit! And stop with the damn phoney accent ok?

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
So...You say your tires got slashed and somebody painted "HOE" on your front door?
Hell yeah! What-choo blind? You can see it right now! And Lekisha ai'nt no HOE!
Well Sir, I'd like to know why you have a $20K dollar car but you're renting a $150 dollar a month place???
What the??? Are you gonna find the dood who dun this or not? How am I gonna J.O.B. without no C.A.R.???
It's just a question Sir. I have to get all the facts so HEAR me now or FEEL me later!
Was the real POLICE busy today? Damn!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Africa
Jambo!
England
glipt, glopt
gleesh, glipt
Your Town
Hush now baby, baby don't you cry...
Mother do ya think they'll drop the bomb?

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
...On Drugs...
Have you ever used drugs Sir?
When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and never tried it again.
...On Monica Lewinsky...
Lewinsky says you were alone together Sir. Is that true?
There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were.
...And Hillary...
Is your Wife, the former First Lady, planning to run for President in 2012?
I did not have sexual relations with that woman!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
Hi Todd.
Sarah, You've been gone a long time.
I'm sorry Todd, McCain is a SLAVE DRIVER!
I need some lovin' and if I don't get it from you...then I'm gettin' some hookers!
I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you.
Ok..Get on it. And remember, I have a foot fetish!

 

by adriyan0
12-28-08
The best thing about being President was...Catching a large perch in my very own lake!
That's not what I asked you Sir!
My question was: What about the war in Iraq?
$#@^&^%
Ok...That was a clerical error. That banner was supposed to say: "Fishin' Accomplished!"
Good times...

 

by adriyan0
12-30-08
I'm still not sure...
Brother, Aqua-Qaeda needs YOU! Praise-be-to-COD-Almighty!
I don't know...being a Suicide Bomber seem pretty extreme...
Our COD is a just COD. He loves you Brother and he wants you to kill all the Finfidels! You will be rewarded...
...You see, when you die, and you WILL die...You will be greeted by 40 Sturgeons!!
Oh well...when you put it THAT way...

 

Oval Office Bathroom, Jan. 20th - 2009, 6:21AM...
Yee-HAWWW...I need to go POOOOPY!
by adriyan0, 12-30-08

 

by adriyan0
12-31-08
...2007...
Mom...*sob*...I'm pregnant!
Oh Honey...It'll be ok and we'll manage...*sob*
...2008...
Mommy...*sob*...I'm pregnant!
What the!!! TOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!
...2009...
OH GOD!!!! Noooooooooo!
Mamma! Mamma! Me want pickles and ice-kweeeem! Waaaa!

 

by adriyan0
12-31-08
...Bill...
Damn it's cold...I'm getting in bed and get warm!
...Hillary...
*bbbuuuurrrrr*...I'm freeeezing! I'll get in my nice warm bed!
...OOPS...
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
Nooooooo!!!!

 

by adriyan0
12-31-08
Welcome to America President Ahmadinejad! Long flight from IRAN ehh?
I am Honored Mr. Vice President Cheney!
We thought a nice hunting trip would be a good way to show you what America is all about! I have a lot of experience as you know!
Why thank you Mister Chen...? What the...?
Like I said: Welcome to America ASSHOLE!!!

 

by adriyan0
12-31-08
Welcome back to the Oprah show! Wooo Whoooo! I'm down with the nizzle...yessa...I welcome Barizzle Obizzle....What-What!?(crowd goes crazy)
It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to where we are today, but we have just begun...(massive applause)
Beep...Click...Barooop...I am not...I am not programmed...Beeep...Barooop...Er... Press PLAY on Tape. Er...Grrrp...REDO FROM START...
Who's more powerful NOW bitch?

 

by adriyan0
1-01-09
What's with all this talk about the secessionist movement in Alaska and that Todd Palin guy???
I have a plan...
Let those bastards secede! Then we'll INVADE, KILL Todd Palin and TAKE their OIL for ourselves! Done!!!

 

by adriyan0
1-01-09
...A long time ago...In an office far far away...
Hey John...What's up? You wanna get some lunch?
I can't do it Raul. I'm slammed with work right now!
Oh...ha ha...I see. You don't eat lunch with the colored folk huh?
Come on man...you know it's not like THAT and besides, your not colored! I'm the one who's colored!
Say what?
Yeah, yeah! I've got a RED neck, a BROWN back and WHITE ass!

 

by adriyan0
1-02-09
...The wheel is spinning...
Mr. President, are you aware that Obama is in Illinois today and will take a train from there all the way to Washington D.C.?
$%$&%*
...But the hampster is dead...
Do you have any comment Sir?
Did we CATCH him yet???

 

by adriyan0
1-03-09
...Ted Kennedy...
I see dead people!
...Dick Clark...
I see dead people!
...Barack Obama...
I see dead people!

 

by adriyan0
4-24-10
...Dick Cheney...
Make up your stories, but truth's so hard to say Brain is numb and your tongue will surely dig you grave Your mind is sickly from Alzheimer's disease And decadence and debauchery killed your memories

 

by adriyan0
5-04-10
The Talibani...Walkin in the desert.
Salome good friend! I am thirsty, it is water that I need...
I have no water...but! I have many ties. I can give you a tie, that is all!
Afghani Native...Meets him.
Tie is what I do not need. I need water, I need to drink it...PLEASE!
Tell you something here with no doubt! Go up miles of 2 or 3. You will find my brothers restaurant with food very fine. You may get some water of drinking there!
...Oh Brother...
Salome...Your brother has spoke of water that you have...Please! I am very dying for thirst of water you have!
Yes I have the water that you seek...but! You must have a tie to get in here sir. This is classy place for food in the quality of finest. You must wear a tie!

 

by adriyan0
5-04-10
...ASKED & ANSWERED...
Mrs. Palin, is it true that your husband is involved with a group that wants to secede from the UNITED STATES?
Drill baby! Drill!
...ASKED & ANSW...?
Did you or did you not support the Bridge To Nowhere?
Drill baby! Drill!
...ASKED.
Mrs. Palin, really, what are the reasons that make you believe that you can be The President of the United States in 2012???
...I'll try to find ya some and bring em back to ya!

 

by adriyan0
5-05-10
...Jimmie gets back...
Just understand that when I call, text or email...I'ts probably important!
Jimmie look...I know, I know...Just understand ok?
...No garden of eden...
Hey Barney, try calling back ok? You don't get to go back to being flakey just because I came back!
Yeah, well life is Mars off ya know? Real seems nothing.
...A disturbance in the force...
oh shit...
Life is a slowdown from speed balls flying man. Noooo doubt, shit was flyin and jammin all over town and space man...no shit it was like god was there and then dammmmmnnnnnnnnn! The primordial ooooze!

 

by adriyan0
5-07-10
...Obama...
"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
"Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference."
...Vanilla Ice...
"I don't do quagmires."
"You's a crazy muffucka, know dat?"
...Space Jesus!
"Learn to say "I don't know." If used when appropriate, it will be often."
"What we got here is a CRUSADER!"

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