All comics by ahimsa

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by ahimsa
5-02-06
One day, at the Democratic Underground secret hideout...
What did you think of Colbert at the White House Press Association Dinner?
He's got humungous balls - and should stay away from small planes.
Suddenly, there was a loud banging at the door...
uh, oh..
Haha, he really tore Bush a new one, didn't he?
Later, at the new Democratic Underground secret hideout...
You need to learn to think more quietly.
I forgot the NSA had bugged my helmet.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
Hey, isn't that ...
It is! Hey, wait for me!
Knock, knock! I was told Colbert lives here.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
OHIO, May 2nd
Time for your shot!
20 minutes later...
Where the #$%& is that vein!!
Oooh, ouch, ughhhh
Ok, that could have gone smoother.
You are all insane!

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
A yellow pox on your house, Colbert! That 'otta teach 'ya not 'ta be slingin' truthiness around me n' Laura.
Colbert doesn't live here, you idiot!
And a blue pox for being French.
He's not French!! Has Rove been neglecting his duties?!
A red pox for being Canadian then. And mentioning Rove.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
But it really wasn't Colbert's house...
Why did we invade Iraq?
Dear Lord, it's Helen Thomas!
Why? WHY?
This can't be happening. Gotta run!
WHY!!?!
Get away from me!!!

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
NEW ORLEANS, May 2nd
I see FEMA is packing up their office and moving on.
"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"?
Hey, I was supposed to say that!
!
Karl, I don't know how you do it.
FOX

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
One day, at Plan X headquarters...
Yep.
I see you got the secret message in the roses.
What are they up to now?
?
Find out more about Plan X at www.democraticunderground.com
Ok, Mousebreath. Operation Red Rover is a go.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
We need a preemtpive strike against Plan X, Karl, and fast!
Plan W is already in play.
** SOME-PEOPLE-SAY NEWS ALERT **
..and Abramoff visited the White House every business day in the past year...
Exactly, that's why the Democrats don't have a leg to stand on.
!
What?

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
Hmm, why does that worry me a little?
Don't worry, there's more.
** SOME-PEOPLE-SAY NEWS ALERT **
This just in - voting machines are failing all over Ohio. Seventeen thousand absentee ballots to be hand counted.
Some people say that Democrats threw wrenches into the machines.
Don't tell me there's more...
There's more.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
A day at the White House Press Office:
Someone get Snowman out here to spin Plan W!
I have a better idea. One sec..
Hmm, this can't be good. I'm outa here.
#$%& that #$&%.
boo
KABLAAAAM! Oops, sorry Karl!

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
Good afternoon, I'm Tony Snowman.
Karl Rove accidentally stepped into some shotgun pellets this afternoon.
He will be spending some well deserved time off behind, er, in bars. He has the President's complete support.
Is Cheney accepting responsibility this time?
Yes, the Vice President saved his life by sharing his doctourage. No more questions.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
Back at Plan X HQ...
How'd it go?
Perfectly.
Although, we lost the deposit on the elephant suit.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
Ok, we've done our part of your plea bargain, "Red Rover". We kept your arrest under wraps. Now it's time for you to do yours.
Oh, merry $%#$! Fitzmas.
Hi, Karl.
Oh, great, it's the "Dukester". Sorry, I'm not sharing a cell with that perv.
Well, I guess it's time for my singing lessons.
I'm ready when you are.

 

by ahimsa
5-02-06
Flip, flip, flip, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT..."
O'Reilly is getting o'riled again. Better flip quick!
Nooooo! Too late!
I hate when he self-destructs while I'm surfing past Fox.
I hear they have some new TV's that don't carry Fox channels.

 

by ahimsa
5-03-06
Dr. Pepper? No.
Pepsi?
No Pepsi.
A&W Root Beer?
Don't these kids watch the news?
Prayer?

 

by ahimsa
5-03-06
I don't get it. Why did they kill me and not you?
Allah is great!
I thought you wanted to be killed? I didn't.
!

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
Prayer? We've never sold those in school cafeterias.
What's this world coming to?!
* actual quotes from a White House celebration of the National Day of Prayer (AP)
America is a nation of prayer. It's impossible to tell the story of our nation without telling the story of people who pray.*
Shouldn't you be talking to the history teacher?
You'd think they'd say, `How about the bridge?' Or, `How about filling the potholes?' No, they say, `I've come to tell you I pray for you, Mr. President'.*

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
Ah, here we are. It's been a long time since I've been in a classroom. I wonder if they have "My Pet Goat"?
Ok, did you all get Howard Zinn's book "A People's History of the United States"?

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
why did you lie to get us into a war that was not necessary, that has caused these kinds of casualties? why?*
I haven’t lied. I did not lie then. Colin Powell didn’t lie. *
* actual quotes from speech at Southern Center for International Studies (AP)
You said you knew where they were.*
I did not. I said I knew where suspect sites were and –*
You said you knew where they were Tikrit, Baghdad, northeast, south, west of there. Those are your words. *
Get that traitor outa here!

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
..Iraq.. Plame.. Voting irregularities.. Iran.. Gas prices... Watergate prostitutes... WAIT - THIS JUST IN! Terrorist runs car into U.S. Capitol!
?
** SOME-PEOPLE-SAY NEWS ALERT **
Liberal terrorist.. Democrat terrorist.. Patrick Kennedy.. suicide Mustang...
Some people say he tried to drive off a bridge into the Potomac first.
One week later...
How do we know there wasn't a dead passenger? Why was he driving a gas guzzler anyway? Stay tuned..
sigh

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
Meet our resident SOME-PEOPLE-SAY NEWS crew:
SOME-PEOPLE-SAY News - where you get both sides of the story!
Hers and mine!
Our White House supporting cast:
So, what's my first song?
Star Spangled Banner - in spanish!
Our resident political activists:
I love Democratic Underground.com!
This is HUGH!!1! I'm SERIES!!1!

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
Our headstrong leader, wearing his bubble when near actual citizens
I can't hear you - lalalalalala
His pals, Rummy & Deadeye
I didn't lie. Didn't even sit. I always stand.
I gotcher back.
Our heroes, Mousebreath and True Patriot (aka TP)
I can sing the Star Spangled Banner in Canadian.
Why did they lie?

 

by ahimsa
5-04-06
And now, the stars of our saga: Bubbleboy has been in his protective suit since January of 2001. He also has quite a supply of duct tape and plastic wrap, just in case.
Dogbreath is under no illusions that a bubble is either necessary or, even if it was, helpful. It's hard to wag your tail or chew on a bone wearing a protective suit.

 

by ahimsa
5-05-06
What ever happened to Plan X?
What ever happened to Plan W?
** SOME-PEOPLE-SAY NEWS ALERT **
CIA Director Porter Goss resigned suddenly today.
Some people say this has nothing to do with hanging with prostitutes at the Watergate hotel.
!
This can't be good.

 

by ahimsa
5-07-06
Sigh. That was the best moment of my Presidency...
It wasn't so hot for me.
You look good! Have you lost some weight?
?
What?

 

by ahimsa
5-23-06
110 degrees
Wow, it sure is hot.
Yeah.
of separation
Gore told us this would happen.
Yeah.
*actual Bush quote
Think President Bush will see "An Inconvenient Truth?"
Doubt it*

 

by ahimsa
5-25-06
Have you heard the Enron verdicts yet?
No - but I have my party bone ready.
** SOME-PEOPLE-SAY NEWS ALERT **
Some people say Ken Lay, son of a dirt-poor Minister in rural Missouri, was hung out to dry by a angry mob of.. jealous jurors.
Skilling was found NOT GUILTY of 9 counts of insider trading! And that's the unvarnished truth!
I thought he was charged with 27 counts?
Would you like to hear that translated by my Truthinator?

 

Project X.Implosion is in play
Would you like to hear me sing?
by ahimsa, 10-05-06

 

by ahimsa
11-10-06
Project X.Implosion was utterly amazing.
Astounding!
What's next?
Stay tuned.

 

by ahimsa
11-10-06
Looks like I'm never going to be able to take this suit off again..
Yo, Poppy sent me. Where are they?
Hey, Rummy, how's it going?
Oh, poop.
Hey, Dead-eye, want to go hunting with me?
Oh, f#ck.

 

by ahimsa
11-10-06
Karl, old pal!
Oh, crap.
Condi! You look great!
!!!
Are you SERIES!!1!?
?

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