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| Hello! You're through to the Samaritans. How can I help? | |
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| Hi. I'm fifty years old and still live with my mum. Also I'm fat and stupid and no one likes me. I think I'm going to kill myself. | |
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| Ha ha! Fifty and you still live with your mum? What a loser! Next! | |
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| Hello. My fifty-year-old son refuses to leave home. I'm tired of looking at his ugly face. It's driving me to suicide. | |
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| I think I might just have solved your problem. | |
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