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Andy Dougan, film critic with "The Evening Times", is at the cinema.
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| Today I'm reviewing "Exit Wounds", an action thriller starring Steven the Seagull. | |
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| I, Steven the Seagull, am too old and rickety to fight properly, so I'll rely on the editing people to make it look like I'm actually moving. | |
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| Legendary Thrust Split Wave! Hyaah! | |
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| Ach! Jakes! They've stolen the coveted title of "Worst Film of the Year" from under my nose! | |
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