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| I fled Tibet with my family in the cargo hold of a sewage-removal boat. I'm now being sent home to be tortured to death by the government. What are you in for? | |
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| I used my girlfriend's fortnight-old daughter as a slip-on toy until her entrails started coming out. | |
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| The police thought I'd better stay overnight in the cells. Then I'm getting out to marry my girlfriend. | |
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| Can you teach me to impress chicks? | |
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