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| Tonight, Ian, is our night! The night when I finally wreak bloody vengeance on those boys who bullied me in school! | |
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| They didn't bully you for being a crap director. They bullied you for being a fat speccy. And you still are. | |
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| GIVE ME AN OSCAR WORTHY OF...er, MY PERFORMANCE! | |
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| Sorry, Sauron. You're not nominated, nor are you invited to the ceremony. But I got you a black-and-white portable TV with crap reception to watch it on. Bye! | |
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| The Return of the King? That film owned! Apart from that flying eye guy. He couldn't act for balls. | |
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| This is enough to make you want to enshadow the western lands. | |
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