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Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Preemptive Defence
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| I was deeply, deeply saddened when I realised the pictures of our soldiers molesting Iraqis were going to be leaked. | |
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| What about the new, worse photos and videos you say have yet to come to light? What goes on in them? | |
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| Well, let's just say Saddam's old plastic shredders aren't exactly in danger of breaking down through disuse. | |
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| And is it true that "Lynndie" England is really a hermaphrodite? | |
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| Mr Presiden, howcum you haven't sacked that guy yet? | |
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| So he can deflect criticism from me when more pics of Americans eating babies are released! It's a trick I learned from Tony Bliar! Don't say he has no influence! | |
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